What Happened to Me? WTF is Wrong With Me?

290.8 lbs. This is the heaviest I have ever knowingly been (there was a period where I didn't have a working scale), and I'm not happy about it. I can offer up excuse after excuse, but it doesn't change the fact that I'm shoving waaaay too much food down my throat.

Wednesday was the bad day this past week. I had actually been inching my way down, and was on track to lose at least 2 lbs this week, maybe more. Instead, on Tuesday I had to stop at the grocery store to get dinner (thus breaking my rule to not shop while hungry), and I picked up one of the deli's XL Turkey sandwiches (about 18 inches of torpedo roll piled high with turkey, cheese, lettuce, etc.), with the idea that I'd have one 6 inch section for dinner with the bagel bites I had already bought, and take the other two sections to lunch on Wednesday. Now, Tuesday I hit the gym after work, so it negated the sandwich and I stayed even on the weight. I had made the oversight of not picking up bagels or something for breakfast, so on Wednesday I started off with not just two bacon wraps from BK, but I got the whole damn value meal! Carbs are baaaaad, and they seem to be the biggest contributor to my weight (tortilla chips, rice, pasta, bread, and so on), and naturally I scarfed down the hashbrowns without a thought. Then came lunch. I ate the first part of the sandwich, and actually felt somewhat satisfied. But I had another really tasty sandwich waiting for me. So of course I ate it, telling myself that when I hit the gym on the way home, it would be fine. That and of course I wasn't going to have much for dinner. Granted, I only had one lean cuisine, but I supplemented it with Pringles of course, and some chocolate cake that DAPGF brought home! Oh, and the gym? Well, the weather has been good, and this is the most convenient 24 Hour Fitness with a pool, so I thought I'd swim laps. Everybody knows that swimming is kick ass exercise, and I figured that I can knock off 20-30 minutes on the elliptical without much of a problem, I should be able to get in 15-20 minutes of swimming without dying in the pool. So to minimize the amount of stuff and changing I would have to do, I decided to forgo the normal workout entirely (cardio, abs, weight) and just do the swimming. So I got to the pool at about 3:50 pm, and had to wait for a lane. For 20 minutes. 20 minutes I could've been doing any kind of physical activity if I'd been thinking about it. Finally a lane opens up. One full lap and I realize that it has been a good 7 months since I'd done any swimming, and jeez am I having a hard time of it. So I struggle through 10 minutes of it, but hell if I can even remember how many lengths I did (12? 16? 20?). So yes, it kicked my ass but unfortunately it wasn't nearly enough to undo the damage I did.

So what do I do now? I've spewed lots of words in this here corner of the interwebs, and some of them I've managed to follow through on, at least for a time, but I need more than words. I need to find the follow-through to make it work. So that's what I'm going to do. No more buying snacks in the middle of the afternoon (like I did on Thursday...don't know how I managed to not gain more than .2 lbs). No more monster meals like that damn sandwich, and no more doubling up my meals (2 lean cuisines instead of 1, etc.). Portion control...that was a key component in my father's recent weight loss, although his current significant other feeds him more that she should, and he's gaining weight again. He would sit down in a restaurant and either move half of the meal off to the side, or have the server box up half of it from the get go. That isn't really an easy option for me, because when I am out to eat, DAPGF and I are (with lunch) usually running errands of some sort or (with dinner) going to see a movie. Either way, food would have to be unrefrigerated and stinking up the car for 1 to 3 hours before I could get it home. And I really can't wrap my head around the idea of just eating half of it and letting the server take away half of a meal that I paid for. I try to be frugal (hell, cheap), and the idea of paying $10 for a BBQ chicken salad or $13 for blackened Tilapia Fish Tacos and throwing half of it away just kills me. So I eat what I order. But the horrible thing, and here DAPGF is truly my enabler, is the bread or tortilla chips that are provided prior to the meal. We tend to go to nicer restaurants, and they all tend to provide some sort of carboriffic experience while we wait for the meal. How can I not partake of freshly baked sourdough bread or tortilla chips with awesome salsa? All I can do is try to slow down and simply not eat as much of it. As to the rest of the meal...I will be even more diligent in what I order, and I will minimize the amount of food that DAPGF will shove off on me (she eats much less than I do). And when I'm not out with DAPGF, I'll stick to my single Lean Cuisine-type meal and try to do nothing else. For the most part, I'm pretty solid in my workout routine, and when I stick to the meal plan that I laid out here, I tend to experience the success that I want (I really do want to succeed and lose weight!). Now, there are two events on the horizon that lead up to the summer beach season. The first is my birthday in early April (go Aries!). DAPGF doesn't really like steak that much, so when I have an opportunity to nom on some dead cow, I take advantage of it. The second is in late April, when some of my cohorts and I will be participating in the Beer Belly Olympics. Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Game of bowling, round of golf, darts, billiards, horseshoes, washers, poker, etc., and lots of drinking. I've got to make the losses happen, so that those two events don't do a lot of damage. And to top it off, in honor of my little sister, I'm going to try to go without Diet Coke (or any soda) this weekend. This will not be easy, but I'm going to try. Wish me luck, peeps.

The one in which we bid 2008 a resounding Meh

Readers? Anybody out there? Bueller? Anybody? Man, 2008 turned out to be teh suck. I looked over my post from 1/1/08 to see what horrifically unobtainable crap I actually considered attempting. 2 pounds per week, under 240 by summer, get more organized, blog more, play more poker, yadda yadda yadda. Yeah, pretty much none of that was realized. There were a variety of factors in my trip on the Fail Boat, but they mainly come down to the overall fact that I'm lazy and self-indulgent. Shocking, I know, especially to those who know me, but I tend to have fun first and then cram to get whatever it is that I'm supposed to be doing actually completed. Paying bills, housework, gym, whatever, I was just the master of the douchebaggery.

There were other things bad in 2008. Lots of personal stuff with DAPGF (not between us, just her own personal issues), the ending of my Santa Ana work assignment (that wasn't conducive to blogging and poker, but was great for exercise), and the commencement of an assignment in Riverside County that forced me to drive my gas pig Jeep 140 miles round trip 3 to 4 times per week. I got reimbursed for mileage, and despite the horrific gas prices (at the peak, $4.79/gal for 87 octane...it cost me around $90 per tank) I actually came out ahead on that aspect of things. Mileage cap on my lease was another story, though, and I wound up buying a piece of crap commuter box that ate up way too much money to minimize the impact on the Jeep. The absolutely worst thing about 2008, though was very personal. Ginger, the nicest Doberman on the face of the earth and all around best doggie anywhere, lost her battle with cancer just before Thanksgiving.
She's up in heaven, chasing the bunnies and such, but DAPGF and I hadn't really realized just how much our lives were structured around her until she wasn't there. I had no reason to bundle up and go for an hour long walk at 11 pm, and there was no stubby wagging tail greeting us when we'd come home. Very sad, and had the additional effect of eliminating an opportunity to exercise. We looked into getting a 7 month old puppy from a breeder, but it had behavioral issues that would likely require a several month stay at a Cesar Milan Dog Whisperer boot camp, so that was a no go. We are now waiting for a litter to be born in March, so we can get one in June, after the shots and such are all taken care of. So for the interim, no doggie.

But I'm not giving up, dammit! I'm going to fight my way out of this morass that was 2008, and I'm going to have a multi-pronged approach. Some of these mirror what was proffered a year ago, but the loss of Ginger has kind of given me an energy and opportunity to kick my ass in gear.

1. Exercise. Since I no longer have to wake up to walk and feed the dog, I've got a solid half-hour or so of free time. I'm going to go for a run in the morning...approximately a mile or so, depending on how I'm handling it. I used to do this when I lived in Orange County (pre-DAPGF), and I was a good 30 to 40 pounds lighter back then. I'm also going to get back into the gym rhythm. When DAPGF teaches, my first shot after work is to the gym. After that, then I'll go home and relax (or go to the store, Home Depot, whatever). I will also get back into the habit of logging my exercise onto MyFitnessPal.com.

2. Diet. Now that I'm back to a driving assignment, it is way too easy to swing past a drive-thru or a 7-11 for some munchies. I'm going to get back into counting up my calories for the day and logging everything I eat into MyFitnessPal.com. I need to have some accountability, and publishing my heinousness in a daily web format should accomplish that. Plus, the tracking tools for calories consumed, calories burned, weight gain/loss, etc. are very comprehensive.

3. Weight loss. As I age and my metabolism slows down that much more (groan, sigh), I need to be a little more realistic. Based on my exercise and diet goals, I'm setting a weight-loss goal of 1.5 lbs per week, measured Friday to Friday. Why then? A couple of reasons. First, the weekends are always a little screwy from a timing perspective, and I think I can be more consistent on a Friday morning. DAPGF is scheduled to teach Thursday nights, so that will help me out on the day before the weigh-in. Sometimes the weekends include much more rich and filling dining experiences. And January 2 is on Friday. Why not January 1 as a start? DAPGF and I are attending the New Year's Day champagne brunch at the Hotel Del Coronado, which is expected to be non-diet-friendly. Ultimately, I'd like to hit 240 pounds, which is approximately 45 pounds lighter than my current weight today. At an average of 1.5 lbs per week, that puts me in the middle of July. Sooner would be better, but I think 1.5 lbs is attainable so that's what I'm going to run with.

4. Personal responsibility. This is a generalized category that covers a multitude of personal characteristics. Set aside time to pay bills. Set aside time to clean out and purge my financial files. Likewise magazines. Make sure that any needs/chores from DAPGF get prioritized ahead of my playtime. Granted, I'm not going to eliminate my fun times. In fact, I'm resolving to actually blog more than I did in 2008 (shouldn't be too difficult), as well as play poker more consistently (both quantity and quality). I'm just trying to make sure that I've got my priorities properly ordered.

So there we go. 2008 can GTFO, as far as I'm concerned. Bring on 2009. So what if it means my 20 year high school reunion? I know I'm getting old, dammit! Now get off my lawn!

Happy Freaking Birthday!

To give an indicator as to how screwy my life has become, my birthday was actually last Saturday. Sigh. That is probably one of the things that I miss most about no longer working in real estate development and now working as a consultant...hourly billing. As a consultant, I have to track my time in 15 minute increments and for a solid majority of the time have a project to bill my time against. I haven't figured out which billing code I can put "blogging" into and get away with it. I am working on it, so when I figure it out I will let you know. Back in the formerly superheated San Diego real estate market, a lot of my time was wasted in the "hurry up and wait" game. I had plenty of work to do, but much of what I did was dependent on work that my consultants (architects, structural engineers, landscape architects, etc.) would prepare. It left me plenty of time to blog (see the 2005-2006 archives for What Happened and The Randomness). Now, not so much. But enough of that.

I am now 37. I. am. getting. old. As my sweet little sister so kindly pointed out, no matter how old I get, I'll always be older than her. Pbtpbtbpt! With said increase in age comes a corresponding decrease in my metabolic rate. Combine that with DAPGF not teaching as often, and Hoff has fewer opportunities for a workout at the gym (yeah, I'm really getting my $32/month out of the deal...not!!). And to top that off, one of the nights that would theoretically be a gym opportunity is one of the days that I work late in Santa Ana...a day that if I'm lucky I get home by 7. The last thing I want to do at that point is change clothes and head to the gym. One minor thing that is helping a bit, is that DAPGF is also getting older, and she claims (not that I can see it) that she's gaining weight. So I've convinced her to start walking after we have dinner (which is another issue entirely). So we do a half-hour stroll through some random San Diego neighborhood after dinner, to try and minimize the inevitable damage from dinner. Ah, yes, dinner. When DAPGF taught several nights per week, those were nights that I could hit the gym after work, and then come home to a simple Lean Cuisine meal (or two...some of those things are pretty damn small), and play some poker. Now, 3 or 4 nights during the week we go out to various restaurants (cheap ones...can't afford to do it up richly every night) where she tries to get us ordering healthy foods, but she's at least as much of a carbaholic as I am. Breads, tortillas, french fries, pasta, rice, bring 'em on. I'm trying to keep a lid on that behavior, but I love 'em too. Meh.

Which brings me to the moral of the story: a birthday is a perfect time to set some new goals. To set the stage, I decided that my birthday would be a blowout of sorts. Friday night was a poker night with a bunch of friends ($20 buy-in, by the end of the evening I'd pretty much tripled my money), so that was a beer laden evening. Saturday started off at me and DAPGF's favorite tapas buffet, Azul La Jolla. I really tried to maintain some semblance of portion control, but if you saw the spread they laid out, you'd understand. The day was gorgeous, so we walked around La Jolla for a bit, and then dinner. Steak at Lou & Mickey's in the Gaslamp District. The meat is so flavorful there, it's almost painful. And their scalloped potatoes (more carbs) are a cheese-laden delight. And it was topped off with a piece of layered chocolate cake so moist and rich that you'd think it wasn't cooked all the way through. Oh so freaking good. So Sunday morning, I weighed myself before hitting the gym. 285.4 lbs. Yikes! But there's my starting point. 285.4 lbs. I want to get down to 240 lbs by Thanksgiving (just in time to put it all back on!). That's 45.4 lbs to lose over the next 7 months. Approximately 6.3 lbs per month, or just about 1.5 lbs per week. I think I can make that work, so dammit, I'm going to do it! Admittedly, I'm not off to a great start. No gym on Monday, and I drove to Santa Ana today so no walk back to the train depot, but I've got plenty of week left to get through. My goal for next Sunday morning will be 283.9 lbs. Fat and stupid is no way to go through life. Not sure what I can do about the stupid, but maybe I can at least work on the fat. Wish me luck, peeps!

One Little Day...Revisited

When last we posted, we observed how one little day can undo a whole bunch of good efforts. In that example, my Monday 10/8 weigh-in zoomed up to 281.4 lbs, due to some Mexican Food and Margarita indiscretions. By mid week, I'd dropped back to 279.6, almost to my revised goal of 279.4 lbs. And then work blew up in my face. Gym time? Out the window due to late hours. Golf time? Yeah, right. Still, I was managing to hover within spitting distance of my goal weight, and even made it to the gym that Sunday (10/14). But Sunday was not a good day. Breakfast was huge, and then I played in a poker tournament. I only had a few drinks and no real snacking, so yay me. Unfortunately that was the last good effort on my part. Dinner consisted of Italian. Those of you who read What Happened with any regularity know that I'm a pastafarian. It can be in the form of Lo Mein (Chinese), Pad Thai (Thai), Lasagna (Italian), Udon (Japanese), or even SpaghettiOs. I lurves me some pasta. Hell, carbs in general (rice, breads, french fries, tortilla chips, etc.), but pasta kicks ass. So dinner consisted of fresh bread, fried calamari, a nice salad, and 4 cheese tortellini. I was baaaaad. And the Monday weigh-in reflected this by hitting 281.4! Again!

So this week's goal is 279.4 lbs. Again. So far it hasn't been great, but I'm making bits of progress. Work has been slamming me, so the gym hasn't happened at all. The dog had a good vet appointment last week, and the doctors have said that we can start increasing the physical activity levels, so I'm starting to increase the duration of the walks. Beyond that, there's not much happening. As of today (10/18), I was down to 280.6 lbs, and hopefully I can get back into the groove by the weekend. Wish me luck, peeps.

The one in which we foresee both the good and the bad...

And the weekend was a mixed bag.  I had been making stellar progress this past week.   In fact, the Sunday weigh-in was all the way down to 285.0 lbs.!!!!  I haven't been that low in months!  I know the golfing was a major contributor, but I'd actually gotten down to 285.4 lbs for Saturday morning, so the golf counteracted the many beers consumed.  I proved to myself that I can actually lose weight, IF I DON'T GO OVERBOARD WITH STUFFING FOOD DOWN MY NECK!!!  

 

That last part is the key, obviously, and I aptly demonstrated it on Sunday.  After a fantabulous weigh-in Sunday morning, it was time to let the games begin.   I didn't hit the gym because my back was a bit sore, so I soaked in the steam room.  I sweated out a few calories, so I'm ok with that.   Lunch was a chicken taco salad thing that isn't too dangerous (no sour cream), but probably still fairly fattening.  Dinner was a BBQ Chicken Pizza at California Pizza Kitchen with DAPGF, and the cheese and carb-y goodness I'm sure did some damage.   Still, we went for about a 45 minute walk afterwards and made up for some of that.  The killer was what happened late that evening.   I pretty much hadn't been on the computer all weekend, and I wanted to check email, look at some of my favorite websites, and generally screw around.  So after DAPGF crashed out and I walked the dog, I jumped on the computer.  This is just shy of midnight, mind you.  Now, I know that you're not supposed to eat right before you go to bed, that it screws up your metabolism, etc. etc.   But the stomach started growling and I was needing just a little something salty.  So I went to the kitchen to grab something.  Did I grab a 60 calorie string cheese?   No.  Did I grab a few Wheat Thins?  No.  I grabbed the whole bag of Wheat Thins Toasted Veggie Crackers, using the rationale of "I don't want to make noise crinkling the bag getting out just a few chips, so I'll just bring the whole bag to the computer.   I'm not going to be on very long."  And next thing I know, 2/3 of the bag is gone!  End result, Monday's weigh-in was 287.4 lbs. 

 

Major bummer.  Not only did I gain 2.4 pounds from Sunday morning, but I also missed my goal.   Still, I'm trying to look at the positive.  I demonstrated that I can lose weight.  Now I just need to stop the little snacking problem.   Because the goal for this morning was to be 287.0 or below, the goal for next Monday (7/16) is 285.0 lbs or below.  I've got a couple of things working in my favor.   First, I get a bonus night at the gym tonight.  Little Sister is in town, and we've got to go thru some things that Dad has sorted out.   So DAPGF is on her own tonight and I'm hitting the gym on the way to Dad's (so weird to not say Mom and Dad's, btw, yesterday was their 40^th Wedding Anniversary.   Mom may not be here physically, but they're still married and Dad's still in love.  Cancer still sucks) house.  In addition to tonight, DAPGF starts teaching her new quarter this week, so instead of just one normal night of gym and online poker, I get two nights.   If the weather holds, I'm hitting the beach for some of it to catch the evening glass-off .  I also discovered a tiny little 9 hole executive golf course near Casa de Hoff.  It doesn't look like anything spectacular, but it will be good to work on the short game, pre-twilight fees are only $8, and the walking will be great exercise.   I had a good feeling about last week, and by and large I was right (except for the very end, which technically was part of the next week), and I've got another good feeling about this week, too.   Good luck!

It's going to be a good week...

Sez me…

 

This past 2 weeks has been brutally hectic.  Working late several nights, over the weekend, all to get a proposal together for a potentially $1.8 million contract.   We got it done, and now it's a waiting game to see if my company is going to be called for an interview.  I've got more projects to work on this week, but I'm hella relieved to be done with that proposal.   Of course, if we get the project I'm looking at 2 solid years of being busy, but it beats being unemployed.

 

A side effect of the work situation was that I played practically no poker at all for almost 2 weeks.  My first game of any substance, hell the only game I played recently was a 9 player $11 turbo on Tilt that I got into at about 12:30 in the morning, because I finally had a moment and was itching to play.   I played solid ABC poker and managed to take 2^nd place…that was my first cash in a while so I'll take it.

 

Last week had some rough spots on the weight loss front, which I partially attribute to how busy I was with work.   No gym last weekend, no gym on Wednesday, and after working late on Wednesday I succumbed to the siren call of Pickup Stix' House Special Chicken.  And I added 2 pounds that evening.   I fought back during the remainder of the week, and made it to the gym on both Saturday morning and Sunday morning.  Sunday's weigh-in gave me a fighting chance at hitting my 2 pound loss goal for the final week of June, but Sunday's eating did me in.   I'm not sure exactly what it is about Sundays (meaning why DAPGF and I eat what we do on Sundays), but my Monday morning weigh-ins are never good.  Case in point.  Sunday lunch was this killer restaurant in Solana Beach , where everything is organic, lean, and home-made.  So of course we order some of the least healthy things on the menu.  Calamari as a (very tasty) appetizer.   A Caesar salad to split, and a spiced turkey meatloaf (it tastes amazing) sandwich with home-cut Kennebec fries.  Then dinner.   Rubios Fish Tacos for a shrimp burrito.  And the weigh-in this morning was almost 2.5 pounds heavier than Sunday's.  So I'm starting (again) at 289.0 lbs, which is just about the heaviest I've ever (knowingly) been.  But the difference is, I've got a good feeling about this week.

 

I can't point to any one specific thing, but I feel good about this week (and everything else to come).  Over the weekend I managed to get some good housekeeping stuff done.  I made it to the gym twice.  DAPGF's new semester of teaching starts, and she's teaching twice a week which means two days plus the two weekend days of gym (or beach) opportunities.   On the beach note, the weather here in San Diego has been fantastic (eat your hearts out), and I'm dragging my fat to the beach for some good wave action.   I've gotten current on all my bills that piled up when I was out of work last year.  My checkbook register is all up to date, I've planned out my budget for the next 6 months, and it actually looks good, and my car insurance is going down because a speeding ticket expired and goes off of my record.  

 

I'm also trying something new on the diet.  I'm giving up on the oatmeal (for now) because one packet just doesn't do enough to keep me satisfied until lunch.   So I would then munch on my planned morning snack, and then my planned afternoon snack!  If I was lucky, that would hold me thru lunch, but then I'd have to go buy some sort of afternoon snack which seemed to never be low fat or healthy.   So I'm trying out a bagel with fat free cream cheese.  All told, about 260 calories and so far it's managed to fill me up better than a single packet of oatmeal.   Maybe if this one thing shows any kind of success, I can build some willpower off of that and do a better overall job of controlling my eating.

 

In addition to the gym and the diet changes, I'm going to the driving range.  The budgeting has allowed me money for time at the range once or twice a week, so I figure Mondays and Thursdays or Fridays (gym/beach on Tuesdays and Wednesdays) will give me some more exercise opportunities during the week, with the added benefit of keeping me occupied and not stuffing food in my face.   And for those of you who don't think swinging a golf club is exercise, go hit a hundred balls in 45 minutes to an hour.  I think you'll be surprised.

 

Finally, just having gotten some cleaning done around the house, buying a 2^nd hard drive cable for the new computer, getting the bills and budget current, I'm making a more concerted effort to plan my time wisely.   I suffer from poor time management skills, and it's been a problem both in my personal life as well as my professional life.  Having gotten caught up on my "chores" is giving me the opportunity to organize my overall life a little more efficiently.   Everything from planning out specific work tasks and checking email to playing poker and blogging, I'm trying to do a better job of time allocation and prioritizing.   Hopefully this will build on itself and I can apply it to all aspects of my life.

 

Self-control and will power.  This blog was started as a weight loss blog, and those two characteristics are key to any successful weight loss.   Maybe the expansion of the focus of the blog will help me control the expansion of my waist and gut!

 

And let the weight loss commence!

So.  Yesterday's post presented my new plan.  Instead of this lofty goal of getting down to 240 lbs, which as of yesterday morning's weigh-in would be a total loss of 48.2 lbs, I've got a new goal of losing 2 lbs per week.  I figure if I can keep this going consistently, I should hit the goal of 240 lbs by Christmas (just in time to put it all back on!).   IMO, it seems to be more effective and workable to set much smaller goals…the typical .5 lbs per day loss that someone putting forth mild effort looks so much more prominent when it is fully 25% of your goal, versus only being (in this case) 0.24% of the goal.  And the same is true on gains…a 25% gain can serve as a much greater wakeup call than a 0.24% gain.  And with that…

 

The weigh-in on 6/13 was 288.2 lbs.  I brought a typical meal spread to work…oatmeal, reduced fat wheat thins, Healthy Choice lasagna, chicken noodle soup, etc.   Between strategically scheduling snacks (wow!  I sound like some defense contractor or something!), drinking lots of water, and writing down my affirmations during times of snack-wanting, I managed to control my food intake.   And because DAPGF was teaching, I got to play online poker.  That meant that I didn't eat too much, because I didn't want to take unnecessary breaks from my tournaments.   So dinner consisted of one of the Vons (Safeway) "Eating Right" meals with some tortilla chips.  All told, not too bad food-wise.   And in addition to the 3 flights of stairs at work that I walked several times, I made it to the gym and then had a several mile walk with the dog last night.  It all paid off with a weigh-in this morning of 287.4…a drop of .8 lbs!  Considering I started this on Wednesday and I'm already almost half-way thru my first goal, I'm pretty pleased.  Let's see if I can keep it up.

Well let me tell you what has happened to me...

Ok.  So what has happened to me?  In short, I'm lame and I've been busy.   Quick recap?  That's all I've got time for, so for those of you who read The Randomness also, I apologize for regurgitating some of that post here.

 

Weight.  I wish I could say I've been a loser, but sadly that's not the case.   This past two weeks have seen lots of naughty food eaten, and pounds put on.  For the most part they've come back off, but overall, I'm up about a pound and a half from my weigh-in at the last post.   I have managed to get back on track in doing my affirmations, but they don't help much when we have a staff meeting at our branch location.  Yes, I had the Seared Ahi for lunch, which was probably the best option, but I'm sure that wasn't enough to counteract the effects of spinach/artichoke dip, deep fried calamari, and four pints of Stargazer IPA.   Hey.  We're consultants, and we can expense that stuff.  If they're gonna force me to get out of the office on a sunny San Diego afternoon, to go sit on the patio overlooking a huge koi pond while eating righteous seared ahi and drinking killer microbrews, well I guess I'll take one for the team.   Besides the dog walking, just about the only physical activity I'm getting is at work.  Our new office is on the third floor, so I do the stairs, up and down, several times per day.   This past weekend, I did make it to the gym both on Saturday and Sunday mornings, but Wednesday night's gym opportunity fell by the wayside in a minor traffic accident.   Not me, but some idiot on a bicycle trying to snake through stop and go street traffic got clipped by somebody who was making what seemed to be a legal turn into an apartment complex.   The rider looked to be generally ok (he was talking to the responding police officers), but the whole thing (3 cop cars, 1 fire truck, 1 ambulance) completely screwed up my commute and cost me almost an hour in getting home.   By the time I got thru it, the last thing I wanted to do was go to the gym.  Meh.

 

Poker.  Poker has been a cold cold world lately.  My once-growing bankroll has dramatically shrunk over the past few weeks.   There have been one or two instances where I made plays that were stupid, but by and large I've been playing well.  I'm just getting raped on the river, and I don't even live in the South (better?)!   Seriously, it's been almost funny, how predictable it's been.  An example, I follow 2 limpers and limp with my 66 from before the CO (cutoff for you non poker players, the seat before the dealer position, the small blind and the big blind).   5 of us see a flop of Ace-King-6.  Couple of bets and 3 of us see a K fall on the turn.  Schweet.   I've likely got the nuts unless somebody is slowplaying aces, kings, or big slick (AK).  First player to act ("Under the gun" or UTG) bets and a player in middle position (MP) calls.   I call, which puts me all in.  The river is a 7, and UTG shoves and MP calls.  Cards are flipped and UTG was playing A6 for two pairs.   Fine.  MP flips over 77 for his rivered 7s full of Ks, sinking my 6s full.  It's been that kind of run.   Suffice to say I'm taking a minor break to see if I can get out of this funk.  I'm doing pointless things like playing billiards and rummy online (and kicking the computer's ass) to see if I can get back into a winning groove.

 

Movie Review.  Knocked Up was very funny.  Biggest complaint, not getting to see Katherine Heigl's breasticles.  Second biggest complaint, having to see a fake version of her koochie (hey, it's the only word DAPGF finds acceptable, pick your own), in all it's crowning glory in mid birth.   It was even shaved, which I presume is just how she rolls.  The movie was very well done, and hugely humorous (although not quite up to the 40 Year Old Virgin).   It gets a little crude at times (duh) and some of the poopy references get a little old.  But the scene in Vegas with Seth and Paul Rudd taking mushrooms at a Cirque du Soleil performance was farking hysterical!   It is longer than 2 hours, so be sure to go potty before going in, if you're getting the Exxon-Valdez sized Dr. Pepper.  And for a completely different review, I also saw Once recently.  It's a story set in Ireland about a struggling musician, and how he falls in love with a Czech immigrant girl who gives him the motivation to actually write and record his songs (which tell the story of their almost-romance), and ultimately chase his dream of fame.   I know it sounds cheesy, but it was actually very well done and a great story.  The acting is great, and the music was excellent…typical folksy-rock coffeehouse fare, but better than most.   Obviously it isn't going to be as fast-paced as something like Live Free or Die Hard (can. not. freaking. wait!), but overall it was an excellent movie.

 

Last 5 songs I heard on Hair Nation: Poison – Look What the Cat Dragged In, Sammy Hagar – One Way to Rock, Motley Crue – Wild Side, Kiss – I Just Wanna Forget You, Ozzy Osbourne – Shot in the Dark.

 

Now that I've got my new computer, and can safely install my own software on it (Firefox, etc.), I'm starting to channel my inner geek.   I download Firefox, get the Google toolbar, and then start looking at all the ways to improve Firefox .  So I add buttons for Digg and Del.icio.us, which gets me into joining a bunch of these "social community" sites.   And then I read blogs like Wheatie's, and read about some of the cool stuff he's playing with ( Netscape, Buzznet, Last.FM, etc.), so I check them out.   So now I found the equivalent of an RSS reader for all of the social community sites, Mashable.   So when I get home tonight, I get to try and consolidate all of my online crap down into one simple site account.  Or theoretically that's how it will work.   Time will tell.  And when it does, I'll tell you.  Are any of you on any of these sites?  Let me know and I'll add you.   Or don't.  I've got lots of new online friends to play with.

 

Work has been extremely busy, with projects and proposals all coming due at the same time.  I cranked out a proposal last week, in the middle of working on an Air Quality statement for a project in the desert east of San Diego, then over the weekend I finished up a second proposal, which went out earlier this week, and now I've got two more proposals I'm trying to get done next week (both of them, both potential million dollar plus contracts – no pressure), while helping out on a third proposal, which is also due within the next week and a half!   Crazy.

 

So there.  We're updated.  See ya out there when I get a chance.

And now we return, to the saga of Hoff

Hello blog world!  Sorry I've been away, but I've been busy.  Combination of holiday weekend, with friends in from out of town, and FINALLY BUYING A NEW COMPUTER, I've been a bit busy.   Also, things have been hectic at work, so what can you do?  Obviously based on the time stamp I'm posting from work, so I'll keep this short and sweet.   And sweet starts us off with…

 

Weight.  Again, I'm still yoyo-ing.  I'm actually really disappointed in myself for a couple of reasons.   First of all, last week DAPGF went out one evening with some friends, giving me an opportunity to go to the gym after work.  Didn't happen.   Also didn't happen on my normal gym day.  And then the holiday weekend, with an extra gym-friendly day.  Nope.   Not once.  Combine that with a couple of days where I completely lacked self-control (mmm, kung pao shrimp), and you've got a recipe (recipe, food, ha ha ha ha ha!  Ok, that was lame.  I'm sorry) for disaster, and it never really happened.   Yes, there was one day where my weight got over 287 lbs, but as of Wednesday's weigh-in I was at 285.6, only .2 lbs over my yoyo weight.  Of course I'd like to be lower than that, but I'll take what I can get (and not just the food!   Ha!  Comedy, comin' at ya!).  One other thing I've noticed is that I haven't been doing my affirmations for the past week and a half.   I will be remedying that starting today.  Believe it or not, it really seemed to help me focus, especially by writing them down at times of the day when I would normally be thinking about feeding my face.   And I can't think of a great segue, so we'll just go now to…

 

Poker.  Been getting my ass handed to me.  Doesn't seem to matter which site, or what game.   PokerStars or Full Tilt.  No Limit Hold 'Em or Pot Limit Omaha/8.  I'm just getting no love from the decks.   At least I can watch myself get destroyed on a 19 inch LCD again, instead of a dinky 14 inch laptop.  Which brings me to…

 

My new computer!  HP, AMD Athelon 64x2 Dual Core 4800, 2 gb ram, 320 gb hard drive, Vista, yadda yadda yadda.   The only downside I've discovered is that both my new wifi usb receiver and my wireless keyboard/mouse both are 2.4 ghz.  I don't know if it's a signal conflict or if the keyboard/mouse signal is just weak, but every now and then the keyboard won't respond or the mouse clicks won't register.   Hasn't been a problem (yet), just mildly annoying.  By and large, though, it's good to have my own machine back.   I finished copying my 15 gigs of mp3s over, so I can get back to listening to music again, reload the mp3 player for the gym, etc.  I can also freely install stuff like Open Office, games, Stumble, etc., without worrying about the IT Nazis at work.   Which brings me to…

 

Work.  Last week I was busy working on an Environmental Impact Report for the City of El Centro, and focusing on responding to Air Quality concerns (side note, this shows the power of the agricultural industry in this region.   As a very windy desert area, air quality is consistently not in compliance with the standards established by the State of California.  Yet they readily allow the use of crop dusters for pesticide application, as well as allowing the farmers to burn their fields every so often to recharge the soil.   Crazy.).  So I was finishing that up and my boss dropped a Request for Proposals on me, on Wednesday afternoon.   And it was due by the end of the day on Tuesday, after the holiday!  It took some work over the weekend, but I got it done.  Some days it is dull as hell, some days I forget to look out the window to see if it's dark out there yet.   Still, it beats the hell out of being unemployed.

 

And friends, where would we be without friends?  My buddy Zippy, Mrs. Zippy, and the little zipper are in town from the smallest state in the Union.  Time with them, eating, drinking, hanging out.   Nice and relaxing, which I definitely need.

 

But now I've got another two proposals to work on, so back to work.  That's where I am right now.   How about you?

The One In Which We Find Ourselves In A Familiar Spot

I swear to God I didn't plan this, but I'm exactly back to where I was with the last post.  In several aspects, actually.   First, I'm still yo-yoing.  Back on 5/8, my weigh-in was 285.4 lbs.  Since then, my weight has done the following:

 

DAPGF and I went to Sizzler on 5/8 for their salad buffet (there's that word again) for dinner, and that was probably the major contributor to my gain.

5/9 – 287.0 lbs. 

 

I ate a reasonable lunch on 5/9 (Healthy Choice entrée and some soup), and despite working late and missing the gym (and subsequently getting my ass handed to me at the online poker tables), I didn't eat much for dinner.   Every little bit, I guess.

5/10 – 285.6 lbs. 

 

On 5/10 I had to run some errands for Mother's Day (getting things for DAPGF, who is my doggie co-parent (yes, we're lame…so what), and despite what our father has wished since our mother died, my sister and I decided that we wanted to celebrate Mother's Day in honor of our mother.   Mom's favorite candy, which she faithfully requested from each and every family member at Mother's Day and Christmas, is Almond Roca.  So I bought a package of it and mailed it off to my sister, figuring that she'd get the symbolism and that it would bring back good memories.   She, on the other hand, completely devastated me.  After the memorial service and before she left to return to the land of Deliverance, she took one of Mom's favorite T-shirts.   When she got home, she cut it up and made a pillow and sent it to me, so that I could have something of her to hold on to!  It was all I could do to not break down bawling in the Post Office.   Anyway, I needed some comfort food and went thru the McDonalds drive thru for some fries and a shake (bad, evil Hoff!).  DAPGF and I went to this rotisserie place for dinner that was reasonably healthy (although the 5 cheese gourmet mac and cheese was pure evil goodness…if Darth Vader had some of this handy, Luke Skywalker would've crossed over to the Dark Side in a heartbeat).

5/11 – 286.4 lbs.

 

On 5/11 I knew I had to work hard to redeem myself from Thursday.  I was very strict about my snacking (no vending machine) and my meals (Lean Cuisine, no drive thru).   Dinner was at Applebees (near a movie theatre – movie review coming shortly), and DAPGF and I split a salad and the coconut shrimp.  Not bad all things being equal.   And Saturday morning I managed to make it to the gym before weigh-in.

5/12 – 284.6 lbs.

 

Something I've discussed before is that on the weekends I do my weigh-in a few hours later than I do during the week.   As such, I think any weight loss may seem exaggerated, due to having a few hours of activity with no food intake prior to the weigh-in.  Anyway, 5/12 was shaping up to be a pretty good day.   Hit the gym, and DAPGF and I went to the Health and Beauty Expo at the San Diego Convention Center.  Walking around, all health supplements and health foods, should be great, right?   Well the walking around was fine, but sampling all of the health munchies and power bars that were available probably added several hundred calories to the mix.   Lunch was at our local ghetto vegetarian Mexi-joint, Pokez.  It was righteous as always, but I was baaaad.   I had a carne asada quesadilla (they're not just vegetarian), so not just a huge flour tortilla, not just a bunch of excellent carne asada, I had about 5 pounds of cheese in this beast!   But that wasn't as bad as dinner.  We went to one of my favorite places in San Diego, Rockin' Baja Lobster.  DAPGF had the most excellent shrimp fajitas, and I had the lobster lover's combo, which included lobster bisque, lobster enchiladas, and a lobster taco.   Mmmmmm, evil on a plate.  Which of course brought me to Sunday's weigh-in.

5/13 – 286.0 lbs.

 

Happy Mother's Day to all of you out there.  As I noted earlier, DAPGF is the mother of my 4 legged child.   As such, I took her to one of the many Mother's Day brunch buffets (there's that word again) here in San Diego.  A ton of food (omelet bar, pasta bar, ribs, sushi, taco bar, ice cream sundae bar, peel-n-eat shrimp, crab legs, and on and on) was waiting to be consumed.   So consume we did.  Eventually we finished, went home, and promptly passed out.  Now, I hadn't made it to the gym Sunday morning, because DAPGF and I washed the dog.   Granted, it was a workout unto its own, but seemingly not a substitute for the gym.  Anyway, after arising from our food comas, we went out to dinner (do we ever stop eating?!?).   Boston Market seemed to be acceptable, because the one thing that we didn't see at the buffet was a turkey carving station.  Prime rib and leg of lamb, but no turkey breast.   So a nice roasted turkey sandwich covers dinner, and home we go.  After a decently long dog walk, sleep.  Monday morning was a short walk, 15 minutes of Exercise TV, and a magical weigh-in of…

5/14 – 285.4 lbs.

 

Yep.  Right back where I was.  Who knows what tomorrow will bring…

Who here likes to play with Yo Yos?

And I see we're back to where we were before…both figuratively and literally.  The figurative: I've been a compulsive yoyo-er regarding my weight.   I'll drop a few pounds only to gain them back within a few days.  I haven't figured out if it's because I lost the weight that I feel I can slack off, or if it just happens to be some weird life rhythm (I eat at restaurants with DAPGF for a day or two, I eat Lean Cuisine or Healthy Choice meals by myself for a few days, and then I'm back to eating with DAPGF), or if I'm just weird.   If you ask my sister, she'll probably tell you I'm weird.   The literal: on my last post 5 days ago, my weight was 285.4 lbs.  In the time from then to now, I gained one pound, dropped it followed by dropping 2 more pounds, and then gaining those two back and winding up where we are today:

 

5/8 – 285.4 lbs.

 

I can definitely say that the weight gain during this was a combo of DAPGF's and my fault.  I went out for lunch on 5/3 for some righteous Kung Pao Chicken, which naturally came with egg drop soup, an egg roll, a cream cheese wonton, and fried rice.   Not the healthiest combo.  And then that gets topped off with dinner at Souplantation!  Frankly I'm surprised that I only gained a pound off of all of that.   And the 2 pound loss registered on Sunday morning was a little optimistic.  Saturday DAPGF and I had a pretty light lunch at Pickup Stix (Chinese again…sensing a trend), and then I went and played in a poker tournament that afternoon.   I had several beers during the tournament, but most of them were of the "light" variety.  Dinner was both late and light, Rubios for some fish taco goodness in honor of Cinco de Mayo.  The optimistic part came with the fact that I did go to the gym, but more importantly I weighed myself roughly 3 hours later than I normally do.   That extra 3 hours with nothing but water really does make a difference.  I try to be consistent in the conditions of when I weigh myself…minimal clothing, no food intake, relatively early in the morning.   Sometimes when I go to the gym on the weekends, I get a later start which translates into a weigh-in time several hours past the usual.  Either way, the Monday weigh-in (which happened to be 285.4 lbs) was likely a more accurate measurement.  Bonus, I got my ExerciseTV workout in this morning after the dog walk.  And that was probably the deciding factor in helping me to keep from gaining anything over yesterday's weigh-in.   Maybe today I can get back on the downward trend.  Wish me luck.

An attempt to return to normalcy

Again, I want to express my extreme gratitude to everyone who stopped by and offered condolences regarding my mother's death.   It hasn't been easy, but it certainly has lightened the burden, knowing that so many of you have offered your prayers and warm thoughts.

 

But there has to be a return to a semblance of normalcy, and in this case it would be my weight.  Interestingly, from the morning before Mom's surgery (Wed 4/18) to the Friday after the memorial service (4/27), I dropped 5 pounds.   I actually was back below 283 pounds, for the first time since The Troubles hit me last summer.  There may have been some factor of depression there, but I attribute it to one main thing…I was busy and therefore not snacking.   And as a side note, I hadn't even made it to the gym since the day before surgery…no unusual physical activity beyond the dog walking.  I noticed a slight rise on last Monday and Tuesday (4/23-4/24), when I was back in the office.   I had to sit at the computer reading things, and naturally I felt compelled to snack.  But when Wednesday hit and I was off work and dealing with family and getting ready for the memorial service, I wasn't snacking.   It wasn't until Saturday morning that I noticed an increase of 2 pounds.  To thank DAPGF for going above and beyond in being supportive through all of this, I took her out to a swanky restaurant in La Jolla for their tapas buffet lunch.  It is very tasty and the menu items tend to be on the healthy side (calamari salad, chipotle pepper hummus dip, sushi, etc.), but anytime you factor the word "buffet" into it, any health benefits tend to go out the window.   And that was followed up by a nice dinner (huge chicken sandwich) and several beers with little sister and her hubby at a brewpub just blocks from Casa de Hoff.  End result after everybody went home and it was back to just DAPGF and I at our place, Monday morning on 4/30 I weighed in at 286.2 lbs.  Granted, that was still down more than a pound from the day before Mom's surgery, and was identical to what I weighed on 4/1.  And roughly 3 pounds below my all time (knowingly) heaviest.  

 

Now we enter a new month, one with some promise of being better than April.  One example: the last day I'd done my affirmations was the morning before Mom's surgery.   During the following week, I obviously had some other things on my mind and didn't do them.  For the most part, without the affirmations my weight did alright, but I did notice that I seemed to have a little more control when I was doing the affirmations.   And at around 9:45 a.m. this morning, when the snack bug seems to strike me the hardest, I wrote them out.  Granted, we're doing our office relocation today, and I figured that while I waited for the intranet and phones to get reactivated, it would be as good a time as any to do the affirmations.   And I haven't snacked today.  Granted, because of said relocation, our corporate masters saw fit to ply us with doughnuts this morning (no microwave for my oatmeal) and pizza for lunch (again, no microwave for the Lean Cuisine).   Still, I think I managed to control my intake reasonably well, so unless dinner with DAPGF turns into a disaster, I should come thru today in good shape.

 

5/1 Weigh-in:  285.6 lbs, down .6 lbs from 4/30.

 

I attribute this drop to the aforementioned office relocation.  When last my coworkers and I spoke of the move, it was determined that we'd go into the office Monday morning, and when the phones and computers were shut off and the movers showed up around noon, we'd scatter and work from home.   I showed up Monday morning just after 8 only to find that the phones were already off and nobody was there.  So I checked on a few things and left.   After getting home, I played a little poker and looked at computer prices online.  Side note, I played a few random games of poker during the past week (once the day of surgery while in the hospital waiting room, before the complications hit, and a couple of times over that following weekend as a mental break from everything else), and I was tearing it up.   I won 3 of the 4 tournaments I entered, and on a total investment of roughly 35 dollars I won about $150.  Not bad all things being equal.   Anyway, being mentally focused on the poker and researching computer prices distracted me from the need to graze during the day on Monday.  DAPGF and I even went to Sizzler for the salad buffet for dinner, and my weigh-in this morning was still down from Monday morning's.

 

So to recap, the family is slowly returning to a normal level of function (just to reassure you, we'll never be back to "normal" ever again, but you understand), I'm back on a roll for losing weight, I've been on a roll in poker, and I even managed to pay off one of my credit cards just before the end of the month.   And now we've moved my company from their original, tiny suite of crappy offices to a much swankier, 5 times larger suite in a much nicer area.  So family, weight, poker, finances, and work all seem to be heading in the right direction.  As a start to the month, I'll take it.  Keep checking in, and I'll keep you updated.

 

As a side note, Google in their attempt to take over the online world as Microsoft has done with the OS world has created a way to store, modify, share, etc. documents and spreadsheets online.   It also means that it becomes much easier (for those of us who aren't Alpha Geeks and don't know how to program Java or whatever) to embed those docs into blog posts.   I've been tracking my food intake on an MS Excel template that I downloaded from Microsoft specifically for that purpose.  If I can get that all figured out, maybe I can add that feature to future posts here.   We shall see.

The one in which we try to get our ass back on track

I.  Am.  Lame.  There.   I said it.  I haven't posted in a few weeks, and I am scum for it.  So much of my little corner of the universe is conspiring to keep me out of the blogosphere.   Not sure why…my blogs aren't anything spectacular, but they certainly don't suck as bad as some other stuff that's out there.  Nonetheless, I find myself facing obstacles to getting blog posts out.  

 

First, there's my computer priorities.  I do enjoy blogging, but my "unmolested" computer time is pretty limited.   So when I get a large chunk of free time (i.e. when DAPGF is teaching), my first instinct is to fire up a poker tournament.  The smaller ones (called Sit and Go's, because when you have the right number of people – 9, 18, 45, etc. – you take your virtual seats and start playing) usually take just over an hour to play.   So on nights that DAPGF teaches, by the time I get home from the gym and throw some groceries down my neck (points to anybody who can name that reference), I can get 2 or 3 poker games in before GF gets home and my time is no longer my own.   The only other time I can typically find a large enough block of time when I'm not likely to be bothered, is after she goes to sleep.  Unfortunately, this means that I'm lucky if my poker game is over by 1:30 a.m., so the early evening hours tend to get devoted to poker.

 

Then, we have my "after-hours" life.  DAPGF teaches two nights per week.   So the other nights of the week, we spend together doing whatever.  Maybe we go see a movie, maybe we sit and watch TV, maybe we take the dog to the dog park.   In any respect, it does not typically involve me getting to spend time by myself sitting on the computer.

 

In my more prolific blogging past, I did most of my blogging at work.  My previous job left me a lot of flexibility in the office.   Most of what I did in the office involved time on the phone, looking over sets of construction plans, and waiting for people to give me said plans to review.   As such, I had a fair amount of time that was free enough that I could keep up on my blog reading as well as my posting.  I also had my own office and didn't worry about corporate IT Nazis throwing a hissy-fit about my visiting non-work related websites.   Now most of my time at work is spent reviewing and writing environmental review documents, drafting City ordinances and laws, and writing proposals to hopefully get more work.   So my in-office time is much more packed.  Combine that with the idea that our corporate masters have an idea that we should have an "open" work environment to encourage teamwork and such, and our IT overlords have IP tracking software on all of our computers.   There have actually been emails from our CEO telling us to not go to non-business related websites, because for each employee hour wasted while surfing, it costs the company X number of thousands of dollars each day, blah blah blah.   So I am understandably reluctant to spend hours with Blogger open, either posting or simply checking out others' blogs.

 

Finally, the ultimate frustration is the fact that my personal computer died.  I take my work laptop home with me every night, just so I can check my email and such, but even then I don't have all of my music, photos, poker hand histories, and other crap that I usually find blog-worthy.   And to top it off, our IT overlords have installed synchronization software on all of our laptops, which synchronizes the hard drive to our network every day when we log into our intranet.   So I do what I can to delete my temp files, internet history, file/application history, etc. before I shut it down (it syncs on shutdown), but I'm not a full blown computer geek (I just play one on TV), and I'm sure that there's something I'm missing that could tell the overlords whether I've been visiting Beastiality . com or something (I don't, it's just an example…besides, zoolover . com has a much better library of mpeg files!   I kid!  I kid!).

 

So I'm trying to be sneaky and type this post up in MS Word, and then I'll sneak into Blogger and doublecheck my "Post by Email" address, and fire it off.   Hopefully it will work, because I'd like to get back to being a mildly popular member of the blogosphere again, as opposed to a guy with two blogs that nobody reads.   Wish me luck.

The United States of WTF?

Many of you (many? can't be more than one or two of you left, these days) know that I play online poker. Some of you are likely aware of the problems that eWallet sites (similar to PayPal) that work with online gaming sites are having. In case you're not aware, the biggest eWallet that worked with all the gaming sites was called Neteller, and they're based somewhere in the UK, I believe, and they're traded on the London Stock Exchange. They probably handled 60% or more of all the online gambling transactions, especially poker. Recently, the federal goverment arrested two of the founding members, who did nothing more these days than sit on the board, for wire fraud, money laundering, etc etc, all because they were stupid enough to step onto US soil. That one action has had a huge ripple thru the online poker industry. Most of the eWallets have either shut down entirely, or prohibited US-based customers from utilitzing their services, and several of the online casinos have pulled out of the US market. The Department of Justice has also seized almost $55 million from Neteller, money that actually belongs to the individual account holders. My buddy Troll has a little bit of money he can't access because the account is frozen. Another poker blogger was playing a live tournament in Los Angeles recently. He got to talking to the people at his table, and between four of them they had over $55,000 tied up by Neteller. So now that I've gotten my non-poker blogging audience somewhat up to speed, (with apologies to Paul Harvey) here's the rest of the story.

I presume most of you have heard about Bank of America, and their decision to allow undocumented aliens to open bank accounts, credit cards and mortgages. Things that make you go huh? According to B of A, they are trying to service the ever growing Hispanic market. Fine. Service those here in this country legally. Technically, and I'd really need a lawyer to back me up on this, I would think that anybody at B of A either connected to this policy, or connected to the implementation of this policy could be found guilty of aiding and abetting criminals. I mean, it IS a crime to be in the country illegally, right? But ok, let's move beyond Bank of Attitude (yes I used to bank there, years ago, and Attitude is right...customer service sucks, apparently unless you're in the country illegally).

We have our beloved federal government prosecuting two former employees of a foreign company, one (I believe) located in another country who happens to be one of our strongest allies, and indirectly persecuting those of us who play poker and otherwise gamb00l online all in the name of fraud prevention and prevention of terrorism. Noble goals, and one can certainly understand the government of these here United States of America wanting to protect herself and her citizens from these crimes. But they're not going after a financial institution, one of the largest financial institutions, for proudly publicizing that they don't require a valid US-issued identification card (like a Social Security Card, a Drivers License, or a Passport/Visa) to grant bank accounts and credit. Hmmm. Sounds like fraud to me. And one of the other benefits that B of A trumpets is that people who open these accounts can wire money from their account to Mexico for free! Just try and find a bank willing to do that for you, especially without proper identification. But that sure seems like it would be conducive to money laundering, and would be very well-suited to (let's just say here, not that I'm trying to stereotype...just using a prevalent example) a radical Imam at an Islamic mosque laundering money for terrorism. Again, I'm not saying they all do this, just using the example. This Imam extolls his parishoners to donate money to the Jihad against the West, against Israel, whomever. Much in the same fashion as Irish Republican Army "representatives" would do in countless bar back rooms in Boston and other areas (just to be fair). Because B of A doesn't require proper documentation to open an account, what's to stop this Imam, one of his parishoners, or whomever (an undocumented worker? they're easy to find here in So Cal) to open an account at B of A. Even to further hide the paper trail, money deposited could even be wired into an account in Mexico (it can't be that difficult to open an account down there), and THEN have the money wired into yet a 3rd bank, maybe in the Cayman Islands or something. Either way, it sure seems like an easy method to finance terrorism. And our federal government is going after an internet business based somewhere in the UK, I believe, not to mention cutting us off from online gambling (except for appropriately state sponsored methods, like lottery and horse racing). Am I alone in thinking that our government's priorities are kinda, what's the word I'm looking for, oh yeah, FUCKED UP BEYOND ALL RECOGNITION?!?!?!?!

Anything that makes it easier...

I must give full credit to my hottie neighbor. She's been trying to lose weight (not that she needs to in my eyes, but who am I to say), so we chat about what a pain in the ass it is, blah blah blah. She had cancelled her 24 Hour Fitness membership and had been using a personal trainer for a while, but she still wasn’t seeing the results she thought she wanted (again, hottie. What is it with hot women? They either totally know it and are mega-bitches, or they haven’t a clue and are totally miserable. I don’t get it.). One day I ran into her in the parking lot (figuratively, not literally) and we got to talking. I asked how her trainer was working out. She said that she wasn’t seeing him that often now, and I asked what she had been doing. And THIS is the cool thing. She mentioned that there’s an Exercise On Demand channel on our digital cable system (Time-Warner Cable San Diego), and she’s been doing a bunch of the workouts on that. They have everything from Yoga to Pilates to basic cardio to Step to Dance to body sculpting, to abs and so on. They also have specialized sports training, geared to specific sports. I tried a basic program yesterday, and it was a phenomenal 24 minute cardio/toning workout! What a great idea! No need to go to the gym after work, change clothes, wait in line for a variety of machines, change clothes again, and finally get home around 7 pm. After wasting 15 minutes just on changing in and out of workout attire. Or worse. Dragging my ass home after work, and not wanting to leave the house until I go to work the next morning. Last night I actually waited until I was done with a poker tournament, but they’ve got programs ranging from 10 minutes to one hour. I can actually click “sit out” on my poker tournament and do a 10 minute session, and go back to poker without losing a bunch of money on the blinds. And I can do that multiple times during the game, if I really want to and the action lets me. And, I can get a quick session in while the dog is eating breakfast and GF is still sleeping. I’m really excited about this! This might be the “killer-app” that I needed to really make some progress. Keep coming back and I’ll be posting my progress.

The one in which we try to get our fat ass in gear

Well. So far, the year is not off to a good start. I (jokingly) blame Dear and Patient GF, but she wasn’t the one stuffing food down my throat (for the most part).

My goal was to hit the gym every day possible. BEFORE I did anything fun, like playing poker. That was my big problem last year, whether I was working or not. I always was rushing home to play poker, or there was a tournament spinning up and I didn’t want to miss it, so I really avoided going to the gym. Great use of the membership fees. So this year was to be the big, consistent gym push. I actually started off making it work, attending New Years Eve in the morning, and then again New Years Day in the morning. Beyond that, haven’t set foot inside 24 Hour Fitness since. The reason I blame DAPGF is that she doesn’t start teaching again until next week. So she’s home every night and wants me to come home right after work so that we can have dinner. To top it off, one meal (NYD lunch) was a Pizza Hut lunch buffet and dinner that evening was Souplantation’s buffet. I don’t care if it is a salad place, BUFFETS ARE EVIL!!! I do not fare well in them, especially the Chinese ones. Even without the buffets, we are still going out for less than skinny meals. Lots of Mexican food, cheap Indian food, and the like. Tasty stuff, and not super evil, but still 700-1000 cal per meal.

But I have done plenty of damage all on my own. Lunch is really weird for me. For some reason I have this compulsion to go out and get something to eat, regardless of whether I brought a lunch, whether I ate it, or even what it consisted of. I usually bring something that requires at least heating in the microwave, so it’s not an issue of eating a hot meal. I really don’t know why I do it. Lord knows I don’t need to be spending the $$$$, either.

As much as it is me trying to sidestep the blame for my re-increasing gut, when GF goes back to teaching it will really help me out. First of all, I will be able to get back to the gym 3 nights during the week. Combine this with the at least one weekend morning (usually 2x) at the gym and the physical activity level really ramps up (and hopefully so does the metabolism). More importantly, those nights I eat at home. And I can do a much better job of controlling my food intake at home. Surprisingly, playing online poker helps that out, too. I’ll nuke up a small frozen pizza (400 cal) or a Lean Gourmet meal (300 cal or so), register for a poker game, and then have to wait for a break in the action to get my food out of the microwave. And if I multi-table (play 2 or more separate games at once, for those of you who don’t play poker online), I have even less time to get up and find something in the kitchen to shove down my throat. If I can take 3 nights where I might have normally consumed 900 calories and reduce that down to 400 calories, I’m saving 1500 calories for the week! As the guys in the Guinness commercials say, Brilliant!!

So this weekend it kicks off. GF is actually going out with friends both Friday and Saturday nights, so both nights I get to hit the gym and play poker! Woo hoo! Then Sunday morning I should be able to make it. Monday GF doesn’t teach, so that will be some dining out experience. Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday become my power days at the gym. Abs and cardio every day, with alternating arms, chest, back, and shoulders. I’ve got 8 weeks before GF’s next semester break. Let’s see how far I can get. Which leads me into the ugliness of how far do I have to go. Let’s look at some ugly weigh-ins.


1/2 - 285.0 lbs and 36.4% bf. Yep. The buffets killed me. 'Nuff said. Absolutely the heaviest I've knowingly been. Bad, naughty Hoff.

1/3 - 283.8 lbs and 35.0% bf. Better. Not great, but better.

1/4 - 283.8 lbs and 35.4% bf. Same weight and smidge more bodyfat. This was due to one of my aforementioned lunch meltdowns. I had to run to Target and get a few things on my lunch break. Unfortunately, some evil bastard placed a Taco Bell just across the street from the shopping center where the Target is. Damn them to hell, and damn the Big Bell Value Menu. So much food for only $.99! Damn you Cheesy Bean and Rice burrito! Damn you to hell!

Had an extra long walk with the dog tonight, so maybe that will help lower things a bit. We shall see...