And now we return, to the saga of Hoff

Hello blog world!  Sorry I've been away, but I've been busy.  Combination of holiday weekend, with friends in from out of town, and FINALLY BUYING A NEW COMPUTER, I've been a bit busy.   Also, things have been hectic at work, so what can you do?  Obviously based on the time stamp I'm posting from work, so I'll keep this short and sweet.   And sweet starts us off with…

 

Weight.  Again, I'm still yoyo-ing.  I'm actually really disappointed in myself for a couple of reasons.   First of all, last week DAPGF went out one evening with some friends, giving me an opportunity to go to the gym after work.  Didn't happen.   Also didn't happen on my normal gym day.  And then the holiday weekend, with an extra gym-friendly day.  Nope.   Not once.  Combine that with a couple of days where I completely lacked self-control (mmm, kung pao shrimp), and you've got a recipe (recipe, food, ha ha ha ha ha!  Ok, that was lame.  I'm sorry) for disaster, and it never really happened.   Yes, there was one day where my weight got over 287 lbs, but as of Wednesday's weigh-in I was at 285.6, only .2 lbs over my yoyo weight.  Of course I'd like to be lower than that, but I'll take what I can get (and not just the food!   Ha!  Comedy, comin' at ya!).  One other thing I've noticed is that I haven't been doing my affirmations for the past week and a half.   I will be remedying that starting today.  Believe it or not, it really seemed to help me focus, especially by writing them down at times of the day when I would normally be thinking about feeding my face.   And I can't think of a great segue, so we'll just go now to…

 

Poker.  Been getting my ass handed to me.  Doesn't seem to matter which site, or what game.   PokerStars or Full Tilt.  No Limit Hold 'Em or Pot Limit Omaha/8.  I'm just getting no love from the decks.   At least I can watch myself get destroyed on a 19 inch LCD again, instead of a dinky 14 inch laptop.  Which brings me to…

 

My new computer!  HP, AMD Athelon 64x2 Dual Core 4800, 2 gb ram, 320 gb hard drive, Vista, yadda yadda yadda.   The only downside I've discovered is that both my new wifi usb receiver and my wireless keyboard/mouse both are 2.4 ghz.  I don't know if it's a signal conflict or if the keyboard/mouse signal is just weak, but every now and then the keyboard won't respond or the mouse clicks won't register.   Hasn't been a problem (yet), just mildly annoying.  By and large, though, it's good to have my own machine back.   I finished copying my 15 gigs of mp3s over, so I can get back to listening to music again, reload the mp3 player for the gym, etc.  I can also freely install stuff like Open Office, games, Stumble, etc., without worrying about the IT Nazis at work.   Which brings me to…

 

Work.  Last week I was busy working on an Environmental Impact Report for the City of El Centro, and focusing on responding to Air Quality concerns (side note, this shows the power of the agricultural industry in this region.   As a very windy desert area, air quality is consistently not in compliance with the standards established by the State of California.  Yet they readily allow the use of crop dusters for pesticide application, as well as allowing the farmers to burn their fields every so often to recharge the soil.   Crazy.).  So I was finishing that up and my boss dropped a Request for Proposals on me, on Wednesday afternoon.   And it was due by the end of the day on Tuesday, after the holiday!  It took some work over the weekend, but I got it done.  Some days it is dull as hell, some days I forget to look out the window to see if it's dark out there yet.   Still, it beats the hell out of being unemployed.

 

And friends, where would we be without friends?  My buddy Zippy, Mrs. Zippy, and the little zipper are in town from the smallest state in the Union.  Time with them, eating, drinking, hanging out.   Nice and relaxing, which I definitely need.

 

But now I've got another two proposals to work on, so back to work.  That's where I am right now.   How about you?

The One In Which We Find Ourselves In A Familiar Spot

I swear to God I didn't plan this, but I'm exactly back to where I was with the last post.  In several aspects, actually.   First, I'm still yo-yoing.  Back on 5/8, my weigh-in was 285.4 lbs.  Since then, my weight has done the following:

 

DAPGF and I went to Sizzler on 5/8 for their salad buffet (there's that word again) for dinner, and that was probably the major contributor to my gain.

5/9 – 287.0 lbs. 

 

I ate a reasonable lunch on 5/9 (Healthy Choice entrée and some soup), and despite working late and missing the gym (and subsequently getting my ass handed to me at the online poker tables), I didn't eat much for dinner.   Every little bit, I guess.

5/10 – 285.6 lbs. 

 

On 5/10 I had to run some errands for Mother's Day (getting things for DAPGF, who is my doggie co-parent (yes, we're lame…so what), and despite what our father has wished since our mother died, my sister and I decided that we wanted to celebrate Mother's Day in honor of our mother.   Mom's favorite candy, which she faithfully requested from each and every family member at Mother's Day and Christmas, is Almond Roca.  So I bought a package of it and mailed it off to my sister, figuring that she'd get the symbolism and that it would bring back good memories.   She, on the other hand, completely devastated me.  After the memorial service and before she left to return to the land of Deliverance, she took one of Mom's favorite T-shirts.   When she got home, she cut it up and made a pillow and sent it to me, so that I could have something of her to hold on to!  It was all I could do to not break down bawling in the Post Office.   Anyway, I needed some comfort food and went thru the McDonalds drive thru for some fries and a shake (bad, evil Hoff!).  DAPGF and I went to this rotisserie place for dinner that was reasonably healthy (although the 5 cheese gourmet mac and cheese was pure evil goodness…if Darth Vader had some of this handy, Luke Skywalker would've crossed over to the Dark Side in a heartbeat).

5/11 – 286.4 lbs.

 

On 5/11 I knew I had to work hard to redeem myself from Thursday.  I was very strict about my snacking (no vending machine) and my meals (Lean Cuisine, no drive thru).   Dinner was at Applebees (near a movie theatre – movie review coming shortly), and DAPGF and I split a salad and the coconut shrimp.  Not bad all things being equal.   And Saturday morning I managed to make it to the gym before weigh-in.

5/12 – 284.6 lbs.

 

Something I've discussed before is that on the weekends I do my weigh-in a few hours later than I do during the week.   As such, I think any weight loss may seem exaggerated, due to having a few hours of activity with no food intake prior to the weigh-in.  Anyway, 5/12 was shaping up to be a pretty good day.   Hit the gym, and DAPGF and I went to the Health and Beauty Expo at the San Diego Convention Center.  Walking around, all health supplements and health foods, should be great, right?   Well the walking around was fine, but sampling all of the health munchies and power bars that were available probably added several hundred calories to the mix.   Lunch was at our local ghetto vegetarian Mexi-joint, Pokez.  It was righteous as always, but I was baaaad.   I had a carne asada quesadilla (they're not just vegetarian), so not just a huge flour tortilla, not just a bunch of excellent carne asada, I had about 5 pounds of cheese in this beast!   But that wasn't as bad as dinner.  We went to one of my favorite places in San Diego, Rockin' Baja Lobster.  DAPGF had the most excellent shrimp fajitas, and I had the lobster lover's combo, which included lobster bisque, lobster enchiladas, and a lobster taco.   Mmmmmm, evil on a plate.  Which of course brought me to Sunday's weigh-in.

5/13 – 286.0 lbs.

 

Happy Mother's Day to all of you out there.  As I noted earlier, DAPGF is the mother of my 4 legged child.   As such, I took her to one of the many Mother's Day brunch buffets (there's that word again) here in San Diego.  A ton of food (omelet bar, pasta bar, ribs, sushi, taco bar, ice cream sundae bar, peel-n-eat shrimp, crab legs, and on and on) was waiting to be consumed.   So consume we did.  Eventually we finished, went home, and promptly passed out.  Now, I hadn't made it to the gym Sunday morning, because DAPGF and I washed the dog.   Granted, it was a workout unto its own, but seemingly not a substitute for the gym.  Anyway, after arising from our food comas, we went out to dinner (do we ever stop eating?!?).   Boston Market seemed to be acceptable, because the one thing that we didn't see at the buffet was a turkey carving station.  Prime rib and leg of lamb, but no turkey breast.   So a nice roasted turkey sandwich covers dinner, and home we go.  After a decently long dog walk, sleep.  Monday morning was a short walk, 15 minutes of Exercise TV, and a magical weigh-in of…

5/14 – 285.4 lbs.

 

Yep.  Right back where I was.  Who knows what tomorrow will bring…

Who here likes to play with Yo Yos?

And I see we're back to where we were before…both figuratively and literally.  The figurative: I've been a compulsive yoyo-er regarding my weight.   I'll drop a few pounds only to gain them back within a few days.  I haven't figured out if it's because I lost the weight that I feel I can slack off, or if it just happens to be some weird life rhythm (I eat at restaurants with DAPGF for a day or two, I eat Lean Cuisine or Healthy Choice meals by myself for a few days, and then I'm back to eating with DAPGF), or if I'm just weird.   If you ask my sister, she'll probably tell you I'm weird.   The literal: on my last post 5 days ago, my weight was 285.4 lbs.  In the time from then to now, I gained one pound, dropped it followed by dropping 2 more pounds, and then gaining those two back and winding up where we are today:

 

5/8 – 285.4 lbs.

 

I can definitely say that the weight gain during this was a combo of DAPGF's and my fault.  I went out for lunch on 5/3 for some righteous Kung Pao Chicken, which naturally came with egg drop soup, an egg roll, a cream cheese wonton, and fried rice.   Not the healthiest combo.  And then that gets topped off with dinner at Souplantation!  Frankly I'm surprised that I only gained a pound off of all of that.   And the 2 pound loss registered on Sunday morning was a little optimistic.  Saturday DAPGF and I had a pretty light lunch at Pickup Stix (Chinese again…sensing a trend), and then I went and played in a poker tournament that afternoon.   I had several beers during the tournament, but most of them were of the "light" variety.  Dinner was both late and light, Rubios for some fish taco goodness in honor of Cinco de Mayo.  The optimistic part came with the fact that I did go to the gym, but more importantly I weighed myself roughly 3 hours later than I normally do.   That extra 3 hours with nothing but water really does make a difference.  I try to be consistent in the conditions of when I weigh myself…minimal clothing, no food intake, relatively early in the morning.   Sometimes when I go to the gym on the weekends, I get a later start which translates into a weigh-in time several hours past the usual.  Either way, the Monday weigh-in (which happened to be 285.4 lbs) was likely a more accurate measurement.  Bonus, I got my ExerciseTV workout in this morning after the dog walk.  And that was probably the deciding factor in helping me to keep from gaining anything over yesterday's weigh-in.   Maybe today I can get back on the downward trend.  Wish me luck.

The one in which we almost dodge a bullet, or It's merely a flesh wound

Well I didn't hold up to lunch as well as I'd hoped.  I went to a freaking buffet!   A Pizza Hut buffet!  Fortunately the slices there tend to be small, so the damage was not as bad as it could've been.  Also because I'm a sucker for chocolate, I had several of those Lindt chocolate truffles for dessert.   Very good and very bad.  I had a very small snack (about 65 cal worth of baked chips) and went to the gym.  For dinner I was on my own, because DAPGF was teaching.  So naturally (because I'm stupid and like pizza), I had one of those Celeste frozen pizzas.  410 cal worth, and then some Budget Gourmet little snack things (kind of like mini egg rolls) and that was another 410 cal.  So to recap:

 

Breakfast:

Banana Bread Oatmeal – 150 cal

 

Snack:

½ oz baked chips – 65 cal

 

Lunch:

Pizza Hut Buffet – 1000 cal (est)

Truffles – 440 cal

 

Snack:

½ oz baked chips – 65 cal

More truffles – 440 cal

 

Dinner:

Celeste Pizza – 410 cal

Budget Gourmet Snacks – 410 cal

 

Total:  2840 est.

 

Now my snacking was amazingly under control, I drank a boatload of water, and I did my affirmations.  So I did several things right, but I was still expecting an ugly weigh-in today.   So I climb onto the scale and it reads:

 

285.4 lbs

 

From yesterday, I only gained .2 lbs.  Now I know that any upward movement isn't a good thing, but given how ugly things were, I'm beyond pleased that 2/10 of a pound is all I gained.   And I think this helps confirm that the snacking is really a strong contributor to my weight issues.  Something to think about.

Who Knew

So yesterday was interesting.  As I mentioned, we were finishing up our office relocation, and not everything was completed (some things still aren't).   My normal meal "activities" at work include a packet of instant oatmeal for breakfast, a frozen Lean Cuisine-type meal at lunch, and a variety of snacks throughout the day to counteract any positive benefits from the oatmeal and lunches.   Unfortunately, we have no microwave so I was unable to heat water for the oatmeal or nuke my lunch.  Fortunately, our corporate overlords who were "helping" with the move were kind enough to supply us with healthy alternatives.   For breakfast I had two donuts, and for lunch I had three slices of pizza and some diet coke.  I managed to not snack all day, because we were busy enough that I didn't have enough time to reflect on whether I really needed to eat something.   As bad as those "meals" were, I thought that my moderation on quantity combined with my lack of snacking might actually work out for me weight-wise.  

 

And then there was dinner with DAPGF.  We actually went to a little Italian place in La Jolla, where we split a cobb salad and then split a plate of angel hair pasta with marinara sauce…nothing exciting but very good and probably not too damaging.   But wait!  There's more!  The Italian joint was unfortunately mere blocks away from Marble Slab ice cream…a less corporate and (at least to DAPGF) better tasting alternative to places like Cold Stone Creamery.   Ok.  Maybe I can get away with a single scoop and minimize the damage.  Nope.   DAPGF whips out this coupon for a buy one get one free 2 scoop waffle cone.  So I "suffer" through this horrible combination of Swiss Chocolate and Birthday Cake (yes it actually does taste like birthday cake) ice creams, mixed together with cookie dough.   The things I put up with.  So we head home to watch some tube and then I go walk the dog.  The dog actually wants a long walk, so I get just about an hour's worth of walking exercise in at the end of the evening.   The extra lightness of dinner combined with the long doggie walk must have done the trick. 

 

5/2 Weigh-in: 285.2 lbs, down .4 lbs from 5/1

 

After the donuts, pizza, and ice cream, there was no way I thought I'd actually drop a bit of weight this morning, so I am jazzed.   And things are off to a positive start today.  No microwave yet, so lunch will be a crap shoot.  But we did get our uber-bitchin' coffee maker set up.   I don't drink coffee, but it does have a direct hot water line so I was able to make my oatmeal this morning.  I did have a small snack in the middle of the morning, about a half an ounce of Lays Toasted Ranch Chips, which totals roughly 70 calories.   I'm not too worried about that.  Besides, I've been drinking water like it's going out of style to try and keep feeling filled up.   We shall see.  I am heading to the gym this afternoon, and if I can keep things under control at lunch and manage to avoid too much snacking in the afternoon, I should be in pretty good shape tomorrow morning.

An attempt to return to normalcy

Again, I want to express my extreme gratitude to everyone who stopped by and offered condolences regarding my mother's death.   It hasn't been easy, but it certainly has lightened the burden, knowing that so many of you have offered your prayers and warm thoughts.

 

But there has to be a return to a semblance of normalcy, and in this case it would be my weight.  Interestingly, from the morning before Mom's surgery (Wed 4/18) to the Friday after the memorial service (4/27), I dropped 5 pounds.   I actually was back below 283 pounds, for the first time since The Troubles hit me last summer.  There may have been some factor of depression there, but I attribute it to one main thing…I was busy and therefore not snacking.   And as a side note, I hadn't even made it to the gym since the day before surgery…no unusual physical activity beyond the dog walking.  I noticed a slight rise on last Monday and Tuesday (4/23-4/24), when I was back in the office.   I had to sit at the computer reading things, and naturally I felt compelled to snack.  But when Wednesday hit and I was off work and dealing with family and getting ready for the memorial service, I wasn't snacking.   It wasn't until Saturday morning that I noticed an increase of 2 pounds.  To thank DAPGF for going above and beyond in being supportive through all of this, I took her out to a swanky restaurant in La Jolla for their tapas buffet lunch.  It is very tasty and the menu items tend to be on the healthy side (calamari salad, chipotle pepper hummus dip, sushi, etc.), but anytime you factor the word "buffet" into it, any health benefits tend to go out the window.   And that was followed up by a nice dinner (huge chicken sandwich) and several beers with little sister and her hubby at a brewpub just blocks from Casa de Hoff.  End result after everybody went home and it was back to just DAPGF and I at our place, Monday morning on 4/30 I weighed in at 286.2 lbs.  Granted, that was still down more than a pound from the day before Mom's surgery, and was identical to what I weighed on 4/1.  And roughly 3 pounds below my all time (knowingly) heaviest.  

 

Now we enter a new month, one with some promise of being better than April.  One example: the last day I'd done my affirmations was the morning before Mom's surgery.   During the following week, I obviously had some other things on my mind and didn't do them.  For the most part, without the affirmations my weight did alright, but I did notice that I seemed to have a little more control when I was doing the affirmations.   And at around 9:45 a.m. this morning, when the snack bug seems to strike me the hardest, I wrote them out.  Granted, we're doing our office relocation today, and I figured that while I waited for the intranet and phones to get reactivated, it would be as good a time as any to do the affirmations.   And I haven't snacked today.  Granted, because of said relocation, our corporate masters saw fit to ply us with doughnuts this morning (no microwave for my oatmeal) and pizza for lunch (again, no microwave for the Lean Cuisine).   Still, I think I managed to control my intake reasonably well, so unless dinner with DAPGF turns into a disaster, I should come thru today in good shape.

 

5/1 Weigh-in:  285.6 lbs, down .6 lbs from 4/30.

 

I attribute this drop to the aforementioned office relocation.  When last my coworkers and I spoke of the move, it was determined that we'd go into the office Monday morning, and when the phones and computers were shut off and the movers showed up around noon, we'd scatter and work from home.   I showed up Monday morning just after 8 only to find that the phones were already off and nobody was there.  So I checked on a few things and left.   After getting home, I played a little poker and looked at computer prices online.  Side note, I played a few random games of poker during the past week (once the day of surgery while in the hospital waiting room, before the complications hit, and a couple of times over that following weekend as a mental break from everything else), and I was tearing it up.   I won 3 of the 4 tournaments I entered, and on a total investment of roughly 35 dollars I won about $150.  Not bad all things being equal.   Anyway, being mentally focused on the poker and researching computer prices distracted me from the need to graze during the day on Monday.  DAPGF and I even went to Sizzler for the salad buffet for dinner, and my weigh-in this morning was still down from Monday morning's.

 

So to recap, the family is slowly returning to a normal level of function (just to reassure you, we'll never be back to "normal" ever again, but you understand), I'm back on a roll for losing weight, I've been on a roll in poker, and I even managed to pay off one of my credit cards just before the end of the month.   And now we've moved my company from their original, tiny suite of crappy offices to a much swankier, 5 times larger suite in a much nicer area.  So family, weight, poker, finances, and work all seem to be heading in the right direction.  As a start to the month, I'll take it.  Keep checking in, and I'll keep you updated.

 

As a side note, Google in their attempt to take over the online world as Microsoft has done with the OS world has created a way to store, modify, share, etc. documents and spreadsheets online.   It also means that it becomes much easier (for those of us who aren't Alpha Geeks and don't know how to program Java or whatever) to embed those docs into blog posts.   I've been tracking my food intake on an MS Excel template that I downloaded from Microsoft specifically for that purpose.  If I can get that all figured out, maybe I can add that feature to future posts here.   We shall see.