Well let me tell you what has happened to me...

Ok.  So what has happened to me?  In short, I'm lame and I've been busy.   Quick recap?  That's all I've got time for, so for those of you who read The Randomness also, I apologize for regurgitating some of that post here.

 

Weight.  I wish I could say I've been a loser, but sadly that's not the case.   This past two weeks have seen lots of naughty food eaten, and pounds put on.  For the most part they've come back off, but overall, I'm up about a pound and a half from my weigh-in at the last post.   I have managed to get back on track in doing my affirmations, but they don't help much when we have a staff meeting at our branch location.  Yes, I had the Seared Ahi for lunch, which was probably the best option, but I'm sure that wasn't enough to counteract the effects of spinach/artichoke dip, deep fried calamari, and four pints of Stargazer IPA.   Hey.  We're consultants, and we can expense that stuff.  If they're gonna force me to get out of the office on a sunny San Diego afternoon, to go sit on the patio overlooking a huge koi pond while eating righteous seared ahi and drinking killer microbrews, well I guess I'll take one for the team.   Besides the dog walking, just about the only physical activity I'm getting is at work.  Our new office is on the third floor, so I do the stairs, up and down, several times per day.   This past weekend, I did make it to the gym both on Saturday and Sunday mornings, but Wednesday night's gym opportunity fell by the wayside in a minor traffic accident.   Not me, but some idiot on a bicycle trying to snake through stop and go street traffic got clipped by somebody who was making what seemed to be a legal turn into an apartment complex.   The rider looked to be generally ok (he was talking to the responding police officers), but the whole thing (3 cop cars, 1 fire truck, 1 ambulance) completely screwed up my commute and cost me almost an hour in getting home.   By the time I got thru it, the last thing I wanted to do was go to the gym.  Meh.

 

Poker.  Poker has been a cold cold world lately.  My once-growing bankroll has dramatically shrunk over the past few weeks.   There have been one or two instances where I made plays that were stupid, but by and large I've been playing well.  I'm just getting raped on the river, and I don't even live in the South (better?)!   Seriously, it's been almost funny, how predictable it's been.  An example, I follow 2 limpers and limp with my 66 from before the CO (cutoff for you non poker players, the seat before the dealer position, the small blind and the big blind).   5 of us see a flop of Ace-King-6.  Couple of bets and 3 of us see a K fall on the turn.  Schweet.   I've likely got the nuts unless somebody is slowplaying aces, kings, or big slick (AK).  First player to act ("Under the gun" or UTG) bets and a player in middle position (MP) calls.   I call, which puts me all in.  The river is a 7, and UTG shoves and MP calls.  Cards are flipped and UTG was playing A6 for two pairs.   Fine.  MP flips over 77 for his rivered 7s full of Ks, sinking my 6s full.  It's been that kind of run.   Suffice to say I'm taking a minor break to see if I can get out of this funk.  I'm doing pointless things like playing billiards and rummy online (and kicking the computer's ass) to see if I can get back into a winning groove.

 

Movie Review.  Knocked Up was very funny.  Biggest complaint, not getting to see Katherine Heigl's breasticles.  Second biggest complaint, having to see a fake version of her koochie (hey, it's the only word DAPGF finds acceptable, pick your own), in all it's crowning glory in mid birth.   It was even shaved, which I presume is just how she rolls.  The movie was very well done, and hugely humorous (although not quite up to the 40 Year Old Virgin).   It gets a little crude at times (duh) and some of the poopy references get a little old.  But the scene in Vegas with Seth and Paul Rudd taking mushrooms at a Cirque du Soleil performance was farking hysterical!   It is longer than 2 hours, so be sure to go potty before going in, if you're getting the Exxon-Valdez sized Dr. Pepper.  And for a completely different review, I also saw Once recently.  It's a story set in Ireland about a struggling musician, and how he falls in love with a Czech immigrant girl who gives him the motivation to actually write and record his songs (which tell the story of their almost-romance), and ultimately chase his dream of fame.   I know it sounds cheesy, but it was actually very well done and a great story.  The acting is great, and the music was excellent…typical folksy-rock coffeehouse fare, but better than most.   Obviously it isn't going to be as fast-paced as something like Live Free or Die Hard (can. not. freaking. wait!), but overall it was an excellent movie.

 

Last 5 songs I heard on Hair Nation: Poison – Look What the Cat Dragged In, Sammy Hagar – One Way to Rock, Motley Crue – Wild Side, Kiss – I Just Wanna Forget You, Ozzy Osbourne – Shot in the Dark.

 

Now that I've got my new computer, and can safely install my own software on it (Firefox, etc.), I'm starting to channel my inner geek.   I download Firefox, get the Google toolbar, and then start looking at all the ways to improve Firefox .  So I add buttons for Digg and Del.icio.us, which gets me into joining a bunch of these "social community" sites.   And then I read blogs like Wheatie's, and read about some of the cool stuff he's playing with ( Netscape, Buzznet, Last.FM, etc.), so I check them out.   So now I found the equivalent of an RSS reader for all of the social community sites, Mashable.   So when I get home tonight, I get to try and consolidate all of my online crap down into one simple site account.  Or theoretically that's how it will work.   Time will tell.  And when it does, I'll tell you.  Are any of you on any of these sites?  Let me know and I'll add you.   Or don't.  I've got lots of new online friends to play with.

 

Work has been extremely busy, with projects and proposals all coming due at the same time.  I cranked out a proposal last week, in the middle of working on an Air Quality statement for a project in the desert east of San Diego, then over the weekend I finished up a second proposal, which went out earlier this week, and now I've got two more proposals I'm trying to get done next week (both of them, both potential million dollar plus contracts – no pressure), while helping out on a third proposal, which is also due within the next week and a half!   Crazy.

 

So there.  We're updated.  See ya out there when I get a chance.

And now we return, to the saga of Hoff

Hello blog world!  Sorry I've been away, but I've been busy.  Combination of holiday weekend, with friends in from out of town, and FINALLY BUYING A NEW COMPUTER, I've been a bit busy.   Also, things have been hectic at work, so what can you do?  Obviously based on the time stamp I'm posting from work, so I'll keep this short and sweet.   And sweet starts us off with…

 

Weight.  Again, I'm still yoyo-ing.  I'm actually really disappointed in myself for a couple of reasons.   First of all, last week DAPGF went out one evening with some friends, giving me an opportunity to go to the gym after work.  Didn't happen.   Also didn't happen on my normal gym day.  And then the holiday weekend, with an extra gym-friendly day.  Nope.   Not once.  Combine that with a couple of days where I completely lacked self-control (mmm, kung pao shrimp), and you've got a recipe (recipe, food, ha ha ha ha ha!  Ok, that was lame.  I'm sorry) for disaster, and it never really happened.   Yes, there was one day where my weight got over 287 lbs, but as of Wednesday's weigh-in I was at 285.6, only .2 lbs over my yoyo weight.  Of course I'd like to be lower than that, but I'll take what I can get (and not just the food!   Ha!  Comedy, comin' at ya!).  One other thing I've noticed is that I haven't been doing my affirmations for the past week and a half.   I will be remedying that starting today.  Believe it or not, it really seemed to help me focus, especially by writing them down at times of the day when I would normally be thinking about feeding my face.   And I can't think of a great segue, so we'll just go now to…

 

Poker.  Been getting my ass handed to me.  Doesn't seem to matter which site, or what game.   PokerStars or Full Tilt.  No Limit Hold 'Em or Pot Limit Omaha/8.  I'm just getting no love from the decks.   At least I can watch myself get destroyed on a 19 inch LCD again, instead of a dinky 14 inch laptop.  Which brings me to…

 

My new computer!  HP, AMD Athelon 64x2 Dual Core 4800, 2 gb ram, 320 gb hard drive, Vista, yadda yadda yadda.   The only downside I've discovered is that both my new wifi usb receiver and my wireless keyboard/mouse both are 2.4 ghz.  I don't know if it's a signal conflict or if the keyboard/mouse signal is just weak, but every now and then the keyboard won't respond or the mouse clicks won't register.   Hasn't been a problem (yet), just mildly annoying.  By and large, though, it's good to have my own machine back.   I finished copying my 15 gigs of mp3s over, so I can get back to listening to music again, reload the mp3 player for the gym, etc.  I can also freely install stuff like Open Office, games, Stumble, etc., without worrying about the IT Nazis at work.   Which brings me to…

 

Work.  Last week I was busy working on an Environmental Impact Report for the City of El Centro, and focusing on responding to Air Quality concerns (side note, this shows the power of the agricultural industry in this region.   As a very windy desert area, air quality is consistently not in compliance with the standards established by the State of California.  Yet they readily allow the use of crop dusters for pesticide application, as well as allowing the farmers to burn their fields every so often to recharge the soil.   Crazy.).  So I was finishing that up and my boss dropped a Request for Proposals on me, on Wednesday afternoon.   And it was due by the end of the day on Tuesday, after the holiday!  It took some work over the weekend, but I got it done.  Some days it is dull as hell, some days I forget to look out the window to see if it's dark out there yet.   Still, it beats the hell out of being unemployed.

 

And friends, where would we be without friends?  My buddy Zippy, Mrs. Zippy, and the little zipper are in town from the smallest state in the Union.  Time with them, eating, drinking, hanging out.   Nice and relaxing, which I definitely need.

 

But now I've got another two proposals to work on, so back to work.  That's where I am right now.   How about you?

The One In Which We Find Ourselves In A Familiar Spot

I swear to God I didn't plan this, but I'm exactly back to where I was with the last post.  In several aspects, actually.   First, I'm still yo-yoing.  Back on 5/8, my weigh-in was 285.4 lbs.  Since then, my weight has done the following:

 

DAPGF and I went to Sizzler on 5/8 for their salad buffet (there's that word again) for dinner, and that was probably the major contributor to my gain.

5/9 – 287.0 lbs. 

 

I ate a reasonable lunch on 5/9 (Healthy Choice entrée and some soup), and despite working late and missing the gym (and subsequently getting my ass handed to me at the online poker tables), I didn't eat much for dinner.   Every little bit, I guess.

5/10 – 285.6 lbs. 

 

On 5/10 I had to run some errands for Mother's Day (getting things for DAPGF, who is my doggie co-parent (yes, we're lame…so what), and despite what our father has wished since our mother died, my sister and I decided that we wanted to celebrate Mother's Day in honor of our mother.   Mom's favorite candy, which she faithfully requested from each and every family member at Mother's Day and Christmas, is Almond Roca.  So I bought a package of it and mailed it off to my sister, figuring that she'd get the symbolism and that it would bring back good memories.   She, on the other hand, completely devastated me.  After the memorial service and before she left to return to the land of Deliverance, she took one of Mom's favorite T-shirts.   When she got home, she cut it up and made a pillow and sent it to me, so that I could have something of her to hold on to!  It was all I could do to not break down bawling in the Post Office.   Anyway, I needed some comfort food and went thru the McDonalds drive thru for some fries and a shake (bad, evil Hoff!).  DAPGF and I went to this rotisserie place for dinner that was reasonably healthy (although the 5 cheese gourmet mac and cheese was pure evil goodness…if Darth Vader had some of this handy, Luke Skywalker would've crossed over to the Dark Side in a heartbeat).

5/11 – 286.4 lbs.

 

On 5/11 I knew I had to work hard to redeem myself from Thursday.  I was very strict about my snacking (no vending machine) and my meals (Lean Cuisine, no drive thru).   Dinner was at Applebees (near a movie theatre – movie review coming shortly), and DAPGF and I split a salad and the coconut shrimp.  Not bad all things being equal.   And Saturday morning I managed to make it to the gym before weigh-in.

5/12 – 284.6 lbs.

 

Something I've discussed before is that on the weekends I do my weigh-in a few hours later than I do during the week.   As such, I think any weight loss may seem exaggerated, due to having a few hours of activity with no food intake prior to the weigh-in.  Anyway, 5/12 was shaping up to be a pretty good day.   Hit the gym, and DAPGF and I went to the Health and Beauty Expo at the San Diego Convention Center.  Walking around, all health supplements and health foods, should be great, right?   Well the walking around was fine, but sampling all of the health munchies and power bars that were available probably added several hundred calories to the mix.   Lunch was at our local ghetto vegetarian Mexi-joint, Pokez.  It was righteous as always, but I was baaaad.   I had a carne asada quesadilla (they're not just vegetarian), so not just a huge flour tortilla, not just a bunch of excellent carne asada, I had about 5 pounds of cheese in this beast!   But that wasn't as bad as dinner.  We went to one of my favorite places in San Diego, Rockin' Baja Lobster.  DAPGF had the most excellent shrimp fajitas, and I had the lobster lover's combo, which included lobster bisque, lobster enchiladas, and a lobster taco.   Mmmmmm, evil on a plate.  Which of course brought me to Sunday's weigh-in.

5/13 – 286.0 lbs.

 

Happy Mother's Day to all of you out there.  As I noted earlier, DAPGF is the mother of my 4 legged child.   As such, I took her to one of the many Mother's Day brunch buffets (there's that word again) here in San Diego.  A ton of food (omelet bar, pasta bar, ribs, sushi, taco bar, ice cream sundae bar, peel-n-eat shrimp, crab legs, and on and on) was waiting to be consumed.   So consume we did.  Eventually we finished, went home, and promptly passed out.  Now, I hadn't made it to the gym Sunday morning, because DAPGF and I washed the dog.   Granted, it was a workout unto its own, but seemingly not a substitute for the gym.  Anyway, after arising from our food comas, we went out to dinner (do we ever stop eating?!?).   Boston Market seemed to be acceptable, because the one thing that we didn't see at the buffet was a turkey carving station.  Prime rib and leg of lamb, but no turkey breast.   So a nice roasted turkey sandwich covers dinner, and home we go.  After a decently long dog walk, sleep.  Monday morning was a short walk, 15 minutes of Exercise TV, and a magical weigh-in of…

5/14 – 285.4 lbs.

 

Yep.  Right back where I was.  Who knows what tomorrow will bring…

Who here likes to play with Yo Yos?

And I see we're back to where we were before…both figuratively and literally.  The figurative: I've been a compulsive yoyo-er regarding my weight.   I'll drop a few pounds only to gain them back within a few days.  I haven't figured out if it's because I lost the weight that I feel I can slack off, or if it just happens to be some weird life rhythm (I eat at restaurants with DAPGF for a day or two, I eat Lean Cuisine or Healthy Choice meals by myself for a few days, and then I'm back to eating with DAPGF), or if I'm just weird.   If you ask my sister, she'll probably tell you I'm weird.   The literal: on my last post 5 days ago, my weight was 285.4 lbs.  In the time from then to now, I gained one pound, dropped it followed by dropping 2 more pounds, and then gaining those two back and winding up where we are today:

 

5/8 – 285.4 lbs.

 

I can definitely say that the weight gain during this was a combo of DAPGF's and my fault.  I went out for lunch on 5/3 for some righteous Kung Pao Chicken, which naturally came with egg drop soup, an egg roll, a cream cheese wonton, and fried rice.   Not the healthiest combo.  And then that gets topped off with dinner at Souplantation!  Frankly I'm surprised that I only gained a pound off of all of that.   And the 2 pound loss registered on Sunday morning was a little optimistic.  Saturday DAPGF and I had a pretty light lunch at Pickup Stix (Chinese again…sensing a trend), and then I went and played in a poker tournament that afternoon.   I had several beers during the tournament, but most of them were of the "light" variety.  Dinner was both late and light, Rubios for some fish taco goodness in honor of Cinco de Mayo.  The optimistic part came with the fact that I did go to the gym, but more importantly I weighed myself roughly 3 hours later than I normally do.   That extra 3 hours with nothing but water really does make a difference.  I try to be consistent in the conditions of when I weigh myself…minimal clothing, no food intake, relatively early in the morning.   Sometimes when I go to the gym on the weekends, I get a later start which translates into a weigh-in time several hours past the usual.  Either way, the Monday weigh-in (which happened to be 285.4 lbs) was likely a more accurate measurement.  Bonus, I got my ExerciseTV workout in this morning after the dog walk.  And that was probably the deciding factor in helping me to keep from gaining anything over yesterday's weigh-in.   Maybe today I can get back on the downward trend.  Wish me luck.

The one in which we almost dodge a bullet, or It's merely a flesh wound

Well I didn't hold up to lunch as well as I'd hoped.  I went to a freaking buffet!   A Pizza Hut buffet!  Fortunately the slices there tend to be small, so the damage was not as bad as it could've been.  Also because I'm a sucker for chocolate, I had several of those Lindt chocolate truffles for dessert.   Very good and very bad.  I had a very small snack (about 65 cal worth of baked chips) and went to the gym.  For dinner I was on my own, because DAPGF was teaching.  So naturally (because I'm stupid and like pizza), I had one of those Celeste frozen pizzas.  410 cal worth, and then some Budget Gourmet little snack things (kind of like mini egg rolls) and that was another 410 cal.  So to recap:

 

Breakfast:

Banana Bread Oatmeal – 150 cal

 

Snack:

½ oz baked chips – 65 cal

 

Lunch:

Pizza Hut Buffet – 1000 cal (est)

Truffles – 440 cal

 

Snack:

½ oz baked chips – 65 cal

More truffles – 440 cal

 

Dinner:

Celeste Pizza – 410 cal

Budget Gourmet Snacks – 410 cal

 

Total:  2840 est.

 

Now my snacking was amazingly under control, I drank a boatload of water, and I did my affirmations.  So I did several things right, but I was still expecting an ugly weigh-in today.   So I climb onto the scale and it reads:

 

285.4 lbs

 

From yesterday, I only gained .2 lbs.  Now I know that any upward movement isn't a good thing, but given how ugly things were, I'm beyond pleased that 2/10 of a pound is all I gained.   And I think this helps confirm that the snacking is really a strong contributor to my weight issues.  Something to think about.

Who Knew

So yesterday was interesting.  As I mentioned, we were finishing up our office relocation, and not everything was completed (some things still aren't).   My normal meal "activities" at work include a packet of instant oatmeal for breakfast, a frozen Lean Cuisine-type meal at lunch, and a variety of snacks throughout the day to counteract any positive benefits from the oatmeal and lunches.   Unfortunately, we have no microwave so I was unable to heat water for the oatmeal or nuke my lunch.  Fortunately, our corporate overlords who were "helping" with the move were kind enough to supply us with healthy alternatives.   For breakfast I had two donuts, and for lunch I had three slices of pizza and some diet coke.  I managed to not snack all day, because we were busy enough that I didn't have enough time to reflect on whether I really needed to eat something.   As bad as those "meals" were, I thought that my moderation on quantity combined with my lack of snacking might actually work out for me weight-wise.  

 

And then there was dinner with DAPGF.  We actually went to a little Italian place in La Jolla, where we split a cobb salad and then split a plate of angel hair pasta with marinara sauce…nothing exciting but very good and probably not too damaging.   But wait!  There's more!  The Italian joint was unfortunately mere blocks away from Marble Slab ice cream…a less corporate and (at least to DAPGF) better tasting alternative to places like Cold Stone Creamery.   Ok.  Maybe I can get away with a single scoop and minimize the damage.  Nope.   DAPGF whips out this coupon for a buy one get one free 2 scoop waffle cone.  So I "suffer" through this horrible combination of Swiss Chocolate and Birthday Cake (yes it actually does taste like birthday cake) ice creams, mixed together with cookie dough.   The things I put up with.  So we head home to watch some tube and then I go walk the dog.  The dog actually wants a long walk, so I get just about an hour's worth of walking exercise in at the end of the evening.   The extra lightness of dinner combined with the long doggie walk must have done the trick. 

 

5/2 Weigh-in: 285.2 lbs, down .4 lbs from 5/1

 

After the donuts, pizza, and ice cream, there was no way I thought I'd actually drop a bit of weight this morning, so I am jazzed.   And things are off to a positive start today.  No microwave yet, so lunch will be a crap shoot.  But we did get our uber-bitchin' coffee maker set up.   I don't drink coffee, but it does have a direct hot water line so I was able to make my oatmeal this morning.  I did have a small snack in the middle of the morning, about a half an ounce of Lays Toasted Ranch Chips, which totals roughly 70 calories.   I'm not too worried about that.  Besides, I've been drinking water like it's going out of style to try and keep feeling filled up.   We shall see.  I am heading to the gym this afternoon, and if I can keep things under control at lunch and manage to avoid too much snacking in the afternoon, I should be in pretty good shape tomorrow morning.

An attempt to return to normalcy

Again, I want to express my extreme gratitude to everyone who stopped by and offered condolences regarding my mother's death.   It hasn't been easy, but it certainly has lightened the burden, knowing that so many of you have offered your prayers and warm thoughts.

 

But there has to be a return to a semblance of normalcy, and in this case it would be my weight.  Interestingly, from the morning before Mom's surgery (Wed 4/18) to the Friday after the memorial service (4/27), I dropped 5 pounds.   I actually was back below 283 pounds, for the first time since The Troubles hit me last summer.  There may have been some factor of depression there, but I attribute it to one main thing…I was busy and therefore not snacking.   And as a side note, I hadn't even made it to the gym since the day before surgery…no unusual physical activity beyond the dog walking.  I noticed a slight rise on last Monday and Tuesday (4/23-4/24), when I was back in the office.   I had to sit at the computer reading things, and naturally I felt compelled to snack.  But when Wednesday hit and I was off work and dealing with family and getting ready for the memorial service, I wasn't snacking.   It wasn't until Saturday morning that I noticed an increase of 2 pounds.  To thank DAPGF for going above and beyond in being supportive through all of this, I took her out to a swanky restaurant in La Jolla for their tapas buffet lunch.  It is very tasty and the menu items tend to be on the healthy side (calamari salad, chipotle pepper hummus dip, sushi, etc.), but anytime you factor the word "buffet" into it, any health benefits tend to go out the window.   And that was followed up by a nice dinner (huge chicken sandwich) and several beers with little sister and her hubby at a brewpub just blocks from Casa de Hoff.  End result after everybody went home and it was back to just DAPGF and I at our place, Monday morning on 4/30 I weighed in at 286.2 lbs.  Granted, that was still down more than a pound from the day before Mom's surgery, and was identical to what I weighed on 4/1.  And roughly 3 pounds below my all time (knowingly) heaviest.  

 

Now we enter a new month, one with some promise of being better than April.  One example: the last day I'd done my affirmations was the morning before Mom's surgery.   During the following week, I obviously had some other things on my mind and didn't do them.  For the most part, without the affirmations my weight did alright, but I did notice that I seemed to have a little more control when I was doing the affirmations.   And at around 9:45 a.m. this morning, when the snack bug seems to strike me the hardest, I wrote them out.  Granted, we're doing our office relocation today, and I figured that while I waited for the intranet and phones to get reactivated, it would be as good a time as any to do the affirmations.   And I haven't snacked today.  Granted, because of said relocation, our corporate masters saw fit to ply us with doughnuts this morning (no microwave for my oatmeal) and pizza for lunch (again, no microwave for the Lean Cuisine).   Still, I think I managed to control my intake reasonably well, so unless dinner with DAPGF turns into a disaster, I should come thru today in good shape.

 

5/1 Weigh-in:  285.6 lbs, down .6 lbs from 4/30.

 

I attribute this drop to the aforementioned office relocation.  When last my coworkers and I spoke of the move, it was determined that we'd go into the office Monday morning, and when the phones and computers were shut off and the movers showed up around noon, we'd scatter and work from home.   I showed up Monday morning just after 8 only to find that the phones were already off and nobody was there.  So I checked on a few things and left.   After getting home, I played a little poker and looked at computer prices online.  Side note, I played a few random games of poker during the past week (once the day of surgery while in the hospital waiting room, before the complications hit, and a couple of times over that following weekend as a mental break from everything else), and I was tearing it up.   I won 3 of the 4 tournaments I entered, and on a total investment of roughly 35 dollars I won about $150.  Not bad all things being equal.   Anyway, being mentally focused on the poker and researching computer prices distracted me from the need to graze during the day on Monday.  DAPGF and I even went to Sizzler for the salad buffet for dinner, and my weigh-in this morning was still down from Monday morning's.

 

So to recap, the family is slowly returning to a normal level of function (just to reassure you, we'll never be back to "normal" ever again, but you understand), I'm back on a roll for losing weight, I've been on a roll in poker, and I even managed to pay off one of my credit cards just before the end of the month.   And now we've moved my company from their original, tiny suite of crappy offices to a much swankier, 5 times larger suite in a much nicer area.  So family, weight, poker, finances, and work all seem to be heading in the right direction.  As a start to the month, I'll take it.  Keep checking in, and I'll keep you updated.

 

As a side note, Google in their attempt to take over the online world as Microsoft has done with the OS world has created a way to store, modify, share, etc. documents and spreadsheets online.   It also means that it becomes much easier (for those of us who aren't Alpha Geeks and don't know how to program Java or whatever) to embed those docs into blog posts.   I've been tracking my food intake on an MS Excel template that I downloaded from Microsoft specifically for that purpose.  If I can get that all figured out, maybe I can add that feature to future posts here.   We shall see.

Thanks, and I need your help again.

I can't begin to thank all of you for your support during this time of grief.  We had the memorial service this past Thursday, and the most telling comment came from our Senior Pastor (who has been our family pastor for the past 24 years), "People are lined up outside the doors.   I don't think we're going to start on time."  I thought I knew how special my mom was.  As it turns out, I seriously underestimated it.   Not just the quantity of people who came, but the personal stories that just about everybody shared about her.  Family members are returning to their own homes, and now it's going to be just me and dad ( little sister lives in the Memphis area) (and DAPGF, obviously).  Seeing the outpouring of support here in the blogosphere, I know that we'll be able to make it.

 

And I wish that this was the end of the grief, but a blog friend of Shane Nickerson (and if I dare, myself) needs prayers of support and comfort far more than I do.  Please click here.

 

(cross-posted at The Randomness and What Happened)

Cancer sucks

Some of you may be aware that my mother has been battling cancer.  I may have mentioned it in a post or two, but I've also mentioned it in comments to others' posts when they've lost a family member, including Pauly, Falstaff , and Wil Wheaton's friend, Annie. 

 

Anyway, my mother underwent a radical, experimental surgical procedure (hyperthermic chemo perfusion) back in April 2004, where after the cancer is surgically removed, heated liquid chemo is basically poured into the body cavity and all internal surfaces are "washed" to directly kill any remaining cancer.   When she was diagnosed in January 2004, they told her she had 6 months without that surgery.  With the surgery, they gave her a 50% chance to last another 2 to 3 years.   So she had the surgery.  Just over a month in the hospital to recover, 2 rounds of follow up chemotherapy, and not quite a full year to get her strength back.   After that, she went back to work…as a hospice nurse!  My mother, who spent the last several years of her career working with the terminally ill, decided that since she'd beaten cancer back that she'd go back to working with the terminally ill.   She was that kind of a strong and caring person.  So after a year of working, she and my father retired.  Her regular tests were showing some recurrence of the cancer, so they decided to take the time to enjoy life for themselves.  They did some traveling, they saw relatives, they had fun.   During this time, the cancer was reestablishing itself.  According to the doctors who would read her MRI scans, the cancer was "slow-growing" but it apparently WAS growing.   Finally, her last scan showed that it was spreading from her abdomen up to her chest, including starting to compress the main aorta coming out of her heart.   So a second round of surgery, similar to the first one was scheduled for Thursday, April 19. 

 

It was going to be a 10 hour or so procedure, and I took the day off and my sister flew in from Memphis.  Everything kicked off around 7 a.m.  She had been tired, in pain, but seemed in good spirits, so we weren't too worried.   I mean, she came thru the first surgery just fine…why should this be any different?  So my dad gets a call at 3:30 in the afternoon.   The surgeon said that there had been some complications, that when they were removing the cancer from around her liver, some of the cancer had gotten into the main artery that fed blood to the liver and that the artery had torn.   They worked into the night to stabilize her, and finally at 8 p.m. the doctor came down and told us that they had the bleeding under control, she was on a respirator, and that they'd go back in first thing in the morning on Friday to try and repair the damage and finish removal of the cancer.   So we all show up at 7 a.m. again, and the oncology surgeon and the vascular specialist he'd called in Thursday afternoon met us and told us how extensive things were, and told us that her chances were slim, but it was possible that they could repair the damage.   We unanimously said to go for it, and the doctors headed up to the SICU.  Around 9:30 a.m. we got the call.  They couldn't control the bleeding, and she'd gone into cardiac arrest.  They did open heart massage for about 10 minutes, but couldn't revive her.   My mother died at 9:20 a.m. on April 20, 2007.

 

We had 3 years that we hadn't expected to have, she's in a much better place, and no longer in pain.  Don't tell me that the cancer won.   She fucking beat cancer!  It can't get her anymore!  We all miss her terribly, but to know that she's in heaven and no longer in pain is worth the pain that we all feel.   I wanted to include a picture, but all my digital pics are on my computer's hard drive and it is still a non-functional pile of electronic crap.  Sorry for the downer nature of this post, but I had to get this off my chest.  Tell your parents that you love them.  Tell your loved ones that you love them.   And watch out for cancer.  It fucking sucks.

A new tool...

So, I started a new "program" for lack of a better term.  Simply put, it's a program of affirmations.   Similar to Oprah's latest book pimp, The Secret (I know about this from DAPGF, not because I watch Oprah), the premise behind it is that the future isn't strictly set, but can change based on our perception of what the future will be.   Power of positive thinking, whatever you'd like, the idea is that you pick a fairly specific goal (but not one so specific that it doesn't allow flexibility in approaching the goal), and once a day write the goal down 15 times.   My source (and I might divulge it later, but as funny as it may be, it is NOT Stuart Smalley from old school Saturday Night Live) cited several fairly specific goals that he set (one at a time, not all at once), and that they all came to be after following the daily process for several months.   He did say that there was no consistent, "do this for 90 days" timeframe for it, but that his experiences ranged from several weeks to 6 months for realization of the goal.   He also stated that it's ok if you are skeptical, just so long as you consistently write the goal down.  It is his argument that the daily affirming of his goal helped him achieve his goal by allowing the future to perceive a path from his present to the successful goal.   I don't have the book in front of me (here at work, planning my stealth post by mail), but I'll try to clarify some of the details in a later post. 

 

I started back on Friday the 13^th, with my goal (naturally) being to lose weight.  Specifically:

 

"I, iamhoff (use your real name), will get my weight below 240 lbs this year."

 

Now the interesting thing is that this doesn't set daily progression targets, or spell out a specific method or activity I must undertake to achieve it.   Given that I started the day after my 36^th birthday, "this year" could mean either Calendar Year 2007 or my 36^th year, with the deadline being April 12, 2008.   Those details aren't really the concern.  What I seem to be noticing is the positive reinforcement from constantly writing my goal down.   I've got a big wire-bound notebook that I keep in my laptop bag, and I write a few lines at a time.  Constantly having to look at my own words stating that I intend to drop some serious poundage (just shy of 50 lbs), seems to help keep me mentally in the game and helps me avoid the urge to constantly stuff my face.   Again, I'm not setting goals of only consuming 1200 calories per day, or getting a solid hour of cardio work in each day.  Rather, I'm just constantly reminding myself that I'm trying to lose weight and hoping that being constantly aware of that will help me fight the urges to eat everything within reach.   It hasn't been completely perfect, but I have noticed a small downward trend in my weight over the weekend.  And since I didn't make it to the gym at all this weekend, it has to be because my reinforcement helped me to control my eating urges.

 

If I continue to make positive strides, I'll go a little more into what I read, what the background is, etc, etc.   For the meanwhile, I'm hanging tough and trying to fill my need to munch with gum and lots of water.  As a side bonus, drinking as much water as I seem to be should help clear out any toxins or other impurities in my body, thus helping to make me even healthier!   Wish me luck…

I am serious. And don't call me Shirley.

"The fog is getting thicker.  And Leon Hoff's getting larger."  Points to anyone who can name that reference.  And yes, Hoff has been getting larger. 

 

Look!  A real post!  And it isn't even cross-posted over at The Randomness (which isn't illegal, RiverDriver…besides, I changed some of the poker discussion in the one here because my readers at The Randomness understand how the games work)!   Anyway, this past week and a half has not been good.  DAPGF and I have been house and pet sitting for some friends.   Half the time I would go over in the morning to release the creatures into the backyard before work (GF went the other half of the time).  Unfortunately, that early morning route took me past my most evil nemesis…McDonalds!   And not for something relatively harmless like coffee, not even the most safe of breakfast sandwiches, the Egg McMuffin with Canadian Bacon.  No, the Sausage Egg McMuffin.  And not just one, because they have a deal going.  A single McMuffin is typically $2.49 or so.   They had a deal for 2 McMuffins for $3.00.  I couldn't bring myself to just order one…it wasn't cost effective (thus proving the theory behind SuperSize Me!).   So I'd order two.  And I'd eat two.  900 freaking calories consumed by 7:30 a.m.  Normally, 900 calories would cover breakfast, lunch, and a mid-morning snack!    And this happened several times during this period.  I never went there to snack at any other time of the day, just breakfast.  

 

I spent my 2/3 of my potential gym time during this period either trying to revive my currently dead computer, or getting things together for Easter.   This past weekend also…Saturday I went to a memorial service for a friend, in keeping with his "religious" convictions, held at an Irish Pub in Orange County California.   So no working out and Guinness beer.  Yeah, that's an effective combination.  Easter Sunday.  Up for 6 a.m. sunrise church services, so no shot at the gym there.  Then the Easter buffet that DAPGF and I typically attend.  Then over to my parents' house for an early birthday celebration, complete with chocolate cream pie.   So Monday morning I hit my heaviest weight that I've ever (knowingly) been. Two hundred and eighty-eight pounds!  Holy gastric bypass, fatman!   And yes, I did cave in and have my McMuffins.  Fortunately this was the last day, so no more driving past McDonalds.   I did eat relatively sensibly for the rest of the day…Lean Cuisine and some soup for lunch; reduced fat Wheat Thins as a snack; and a BBQ Chicken Wrap from Red Robin.  No real exercising beyond a short dog walk in the morning and a 30 minute dog walk at 11:00 Monday evening.

 

Tuesday morning (today) I was down a whole 4/10 of a pound!  Woo hoo!!  So far I've eaten relatively sensibly.  Oatmeal for breakfast, some Wheat Thins for a snack. I made a couple of ham and cheese sandwiches from leftover Easter ham, and had some soup to go with them for lunch.   And I'm going to the gym after work.  Of course after that I'm going to attempt to buy a new motherboard for my poor computer, and hopefully install it.   The plus to that, I'll probably not get much chance to snack at home, which is a good thing.  Too much Easter candy sitting around, waiting to melt in my mouth, not in my hand.

 

As I mentioned earlier, my birthday is approaching.  I will be 36 this week (laugh it up, little sister, your early 30s are slipping away just as quickly!).   I started this here blog a few weeks before my 35^th birthday.  I wasn't thrilled with the idea of turning 35, and how getting older is affecting me (metabolism most of all…I don't seem to have any anymore).   I had started to make some progress, and unfortunately The Troubles (getting laid off) hit me a month after my birthday, and proceeded to utterly destroy not only any progress I had made, but also any motivation I had for just about anything.   It was most decidedly not fun, and probably the worst period of my life.  As part of this whole rededication of What Happened, I've been trying to improve various parts of my life.   I've actually made some progress in a variety of ways. 

 

Now that I'm working again (it's amazing what a steady paycheck can let you do), I'm starting to get my bills under control.   The Troubles really put me in a bind, and it's rough trying to dig out.  I was even in this weird position where I wanted to file bankruptcy but couldn't.   The way the new bankruptcy laws read, I made too much money recently to qualify for a Chapter 7, which would've eliminated my debts (they average your income over the previous 6 months, so it didn't matter that I didn't make any money, my average income was too high), and a Chapter 13 was pointless, because all it did was reorganize my debts…I was still obligated to pay them and the whole freaking point of the exercise was THAT I HAD NO INCOME AND COULDN'T PAY MY DEBTS!!!!   When I finally got to the point where my average income would've qualified me for a Chapter 7, I didn't have any money to pay the legal fees to actually file the bankruptcy!   And since a Chapter 7 eliminates all debts, nobody (especially the attorneys) was going to extend me credit for the $2500 in legal fees that it would've taken, only to have $2300 of it eliminated as part of the bankruptcy settlement.

 

I'm also getting control of my personal sense of organization (which somewhat ties into the financial aspect of Hoff).   I went thru all of my financial files, and got rid of (to quote Joe Speaker) a metric-ass ton of old credit card statements, bank statements, insurance premiums, car service records, pay stubs, etc.   Besides taxes, I had documents that went back to 2002, and in some cases were car registration materials that covered a car I had 2 cars ago (the Integra).   A clean environment has the potential to be self-fulfilling, and I'm trying to make it so.  And as my financial environment comes together, I lose the stress that went along with it.   And as my physical environment comes together, I am visually inspired to make sure that I am compatible with it.  This, combined with my newly lessened stress, is giving me the motivation to…

 

Get back on track for weight loss, which was the original point of this here blog anyway!  I've gotten way too fat.   Many of my clothes no longer fit me.  And to top it off, my dear brother in law has been extremely successful at losing weight.   AND HE DID IT ALL WITH WILLPOWER!!!  How dare he do it without a support group, or diet supplements, or Oprah, or whatever.  Correct me if I'm wrong, but he dropped something like 50 pounds over the past 6 to 8 months.   Now I really have no excuse.  So I'll see you at the gym.  And if I can get my computer working again, I can reload my mp3 player with more workout-appropriate music.   Come along for the ride.

The one in which we try to get our ass back on track

I.  Am.  Lame.  There.   I said it.  I haven't posted in a few weeks, and I am scum for it.  So much of my little corner of the universe is conspiring to keep me out of the blogosphere.   Not sure why…my blogs aren't anything spectacular, but they certainly don't suck as bad as some other stuff that's out there.  Nonetheless, I find myself facing obstacles to getting blog posts out.  

 

First, there's my computer priorities.  I do enjoy blogging, but my "unmolested" computer time is pretty limited.   So when I get a large chunk of free time (i.e. when DAPGF is teaching), my first instinct is to fire up a poker tournament.  The smaller ones (called Sit and Go's, because when you have the right number of people – 9, 18, 45, etc. – you take your virtual seats and start playing) usually take just over an hour to play.   So on nights that DAPGF teaches, by the time I get home from the gym and throw some groceries down my neck (points to anybody who can name that reference), I can get 2 or 3 poker games in before GF gets home and my time is no longer my own.   The only other time I can typically find a large enough block of time when I'm not likely to be bothered, is after she goes to sleep.  Unfortunately, this means that I'm lucky if my poker game is over by 1:30 a.m., so the early evening hours tend to get devoted to poker.

 

Then, we have my "after-hours" life.  DAPGF teaches two nights per week.   So the other nights of the week, we spend together doing whatever.  Maybe we go see a movie, maybe we sit and watch TV, maybe we take the dog to the dog park.   In any respect, it does not typically involve me getting to spend time by myself sitting on the computer.

 

In my more prolific blogging past, I did most of my blogging at work.  My previous job left me a lot of flexibility in the office.   Most of what I did in the office involved time on the phone, looking over sets of construction plans, and waiting for people to give me said plans to review.   As such, I had a fair amount of time that was free enough that I could keep up on my blog reading as well as my posting.  I also had my own office and didn't worry about corporate IT Nazis throwing a hissy-fit about my visiting non-work related websites.   Now most of my time at work is spent reviewing and writing environmental review documents, drafting City ordinances and laws, and writing proposals to hopefully get more work.   So my in-office time is much more packed.  Combine that with the idea that our corporate masters have an idea that we should have an "open" work environment to encourage teamwork and such, and our IT overlords have IP tracking software on all of our computers.   There have actually been emails from our CEO telling us to not go to non-business related websites, because for each employee hour wasted while surfing, it costs the company X number of thousands of dollars each day, blah blah blah.   So I am understandably reluctant to spend hours with Blogger open, either posting or simply checking out others' blogs.

 

Finally, the ultimate frustration is the fact that my personal computer died.  I take my work laptop home with me every night, just so I can check my email and such, but even then I don't have all of my music, photos, poker hand histories, and other crap that I usually find blog-worthy.   And to top it off, our IT overlords have installed synchronization software on all of our laptops, which synchronizes the hard drive to our network every day when we log into our intranet.   So I do what I can to delete my temp files, internet history, file/application history, etc. before I shut it down (it syncs on shutdown), but I'm not a full blown computer geek (I just play one on TV), and I'm sure that there's something I'm missing that could tell the overlords whether I've been visiting Beastiality . com or something (I don't, it's just an example…besides, zoolover . com has a much better library of mpeg files!   I kid!  I kid!).

 

So I'm trying to be sneaky and type this post up in MS Word, and then I'll sneak into Blogger and doublecheck my "Post by Email" address, and fire it off.   Hopefully it will work, because I'd like to get back to being a mildly popular member of the blogosphere again, as opposed to a guy with two blogs that nobody reads.   Wish me luck.

We are experiencing techincal difficulties, please stand by...

So. Tuesday evenings, DAPGF teaches. That is my night to do things that don't require (and are frankly better without) the presence of DAPGF. These things involve mainly the gym after work, and various computer activities (blogging, poker, finding crazy/amusing old videos on You Tube and such). I knew I owed posts to you fine folks and the few freaks who still stop by Teh Randomness, as well as wanting to get my poker jones on, so I was looking forward to Tuesday and the expected frivolity.

So Monday evening (3/12) I put the computer into sleep mode before I put myself into sleep mode. Because of the internet nazis at work, I try to check my personal email at home before going into work, so I figured a quick boot was preferable. Tuesday morning, I woke up and hit the power switch, waiting for the standby blinks to go solid and my noisy little box to spring to life. Well that didn't happen. The fan made some noise, but that was it...no solid lights, no signal to the monitor, no power/signal to my wireless keyboard and mouse. After powering it off, powering back on a couple of times, I gave up and went to work. By the time I got home, it was completely dead...no power lights, no fan, nothing. So I hopped onto my new favorite website, Tech Support Forum (nerd alert!!! These guys rock! Super helpful on any number of different tech/computer related issues!) and dropped a couple of posts. Several people chimed in, all leaning hopefully towards the Power Supply Unit being dead, but expecting my motherboard to be completely fried. Wednesday I bought a new PSU and installed it...nothing. Yep, the board is fried. So I really had minimal computer access this week. I'm only able to blog now because I've got my work laptop tied into my home network. Any port in a storm. I'm missing my many gigs of mp3s, but at least I'm able to hop online.

Tuesday was also DAPGF's birthday, so I spent most of last weekend and Monday getting things ready for that. We went out to dinner on Saturday, and I got her gifts on Tuesday. I won't divulge the details, but it was all good.

Weight has been the yoyo syndrome, at the high end of where I've been...283-285. Although this morning (3/17), I'd managed to drop a pound and a half from Friday morning. And my boss bought us all pizza on Friday. Yummy stuff, and I didn't really hold back. Long dog walks must have done the trick. Who knows? Hopefully I can keep it going. I did find out from my parents that my dear brother in law (where's your blog, dude?) has managed to drop a bunch of weight since Christmas. I don't know what he weighed at Christmas, but I'd guess he's dropped 30 to 40 pounds. ALL BECAUSE OF PORTION CONTROL AND WILL POWER!!! Are you kidding me?!? Who uses will power? Now I feel even worse for having PF Chang's at lunch today with said parents, who took DAPGF out for her birthday. Will power...guess I'll have to try it.

Anyway, tech issues are an impediment, but I'm still going. Stay tuned for further updates...

And another week oozes to an end...

Well, the weight has gone down a bit from the high point, but as I expected it was higher than my weekend late weigh-in low points. Meh. A couple of changes that I’ve noticed this week.

1. The dog has been taking longer morning walks. While this isn’t a bad thing in and of itself, walking her isn’t a “high-impact” cardio event. When she does a shorty walk, I usually have an opportunity to do a 15 or 20 minute Exercise TV cardio routine. That gets the blood flowing and sets up a metabolism boost going into breakfast. It seems to me that 15 min walk + 15 min of Exercise TV is better than 30-45 minutes of just dog walk.

2. DAPGF started her new quarter of teaching this week. Last quarter she taught 3 nights out of the week (Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday), and I was able to hit the gym each of those nights after work. This quarter she is only teaching two nights out of the week, so I lose one gym night. I still get to the gym on the weekends, but I’m trying to find out where I can sneak in some additional exercise. I’m trying to get out and walk for 15-30 minutes at lunch, but recently I discovered this…

3. There’s a driving range about a mile from my office (and around the corner from our future location!). When I was working for Heritage Pacific, there was a driving range near the office, and I went there every day I could. Of course it helped that when I bought my $40 range card, they apparently screwed up and programmed it for $400 dollars worth of credit! I never noticed it until I thought I’d come close to burning through $40, and I actually looked at the display on the ball vending machine. Imagine my surprise to see that I was sitting on more than $360 in credit! You might not think so, but driving golf balls for 45 minutes is a pretty decent workout. Since it’s extremely unlikely that I’ll wind up with another screaming deal like the one I had (the range card was only good at that one range, and since I was laid off from the job and lived 26 miles away from the range, it made sense to sell the range card on Craigslist), I’ll have to limit my play to a couple of times per week. Still, every little bit helps.

This weekend was bad, but for a good reason. DAPGF is having a birthday! Of course it falls on a night she teaches, so we partied it up this past weekend, particuarly with the food. Friday was pretty simple...ribs! Unfortuantely not Corky's in Memphis (ask River Driver about it), but certainly adequate. Saturday lunch was a sushi buffet, and despite the fact that sushi is fundamentally a healthy food, once you add the word "buffet" to it (see Souplantation), healthy is out the window. Still, I loves me some raw dead fish, so no complaints from yours truly. Then came dinner. Hoo boy! My favorite swanky seafood joint in San Diego (and that's saying a lot!), Oceanaire. DAPGF had the Baqueta (a member of the bass family, caught somewhere off of Baja's east coast). It was pan seared in a mushroom demi-glace, with garlic mashers. Yummy. Me, I had my favorite dish there, Ahi Tuna Steak that has barely kissed the pan. It was done to perfection, seared barely an eighth of an inch in (that's cooked fish, not fat, in case you couldn't tell), served with a wasabi-something sauce. I also had a cup of their clam chowder, which was very good, but came in behind Brophy Bros.' Santa Barbara location. And as a side to share, we had one of their signature dishes, Hash Browns a la Oceanaire. You might be thinking, "hash browns?" Oh sweet Lord you haven't had hash browns until you've had these. First, it's a huge order. Second, the potatoes are freshly grated on site. Third, they're fried in enough butter to kill. Fourth, they're intermingled with cheddar, carmelized onions, bacon, and tobasco sauce. Absolutely to die for, and I'm sure i will be dying soon from clogged arteries or something. Still, absolutely worth it. Can't wait to see what the weigh-in will be on Monday!

And now I need to file a complaint. I went to the gym over the weekend (yay for me!), unfortunately without my mp3 player. I’d taken it out of the bag to load up some new tunes (it’s old, and only 256 mb…give me a break), and didn’t get it done. So I figured I’d listen to the tunes they piped in (from some service like Music Choice or one of those). When I walked in, they were on a basic rock tip, and I listened to Bon Jovi (Livin’ on a Prayer) and AC/DC (Back in Black) while I was getting changed. As I entered the gym floor and headed to my ab cruncher bench, “Stop” by Jane’s Addiction started up. OK. All good tunes for pumping up a workout pace. And here’s where things went weird. About a minute into Jane’s Addiction, someone switched channels over to a pop channel. Not really happy, but I figured the pop tempo of the music would keep things moving. The first song kinda did ok…it was by Jessica Simpson (I think) and had that hook from “Jack and Diane” by John Cougar. I hate it when decent songs get corrupted like that, but at least the song had a reasonable tempo. The next one was some breathless-sounding girl doing a very mellow and slow cover of “Send Me An Angel,” which was originally done back in the 80s by (I think) Real Life, and sounded a lot like “Twilight Zone” by Golden Earring. The original version of “…Angel” had a good tempo, with its Eurotrash beat, but this sounded like somebody, whispering over a keyboard wash. And the one after that was an equally mellow-sounding version of Firehouse’s “Love of a Lifetime,” which itself was a far too mellow hair metal ballad. I didn’t think it could’ve gotten more mellow, but I guess if you take the electric guitars (even the ones without distortion) away, it puts you to sleep. At that point I just tuned it out and did my workout. I’m not sure what really happened, but as the timer counted down to zero on the elliptical trainer, “Root Down” by the Beastie Boys came on. I’m not sure when someone grew a pair and switched over from the sappy, sleepy crap that had been on, but I sure wish it had been sooner. As it is, I will be loading up the mp3s tonight…I’m thinking Stormtroopers of Death (Speak English or Die), Disturbed, Linkin Park, Dokken, Ratt, Iron Maiden, maybe some Beastie Boys and Ludacris, and maybe Pantera to round out a nicely energetic mix.

Playing catch up

I apologize for not posting for a while, but with the internet Nazis around my company, it is difficult to find time to even email in a post (not that I’ve figured out how to do that or anything). That and it’s been kinda busy around Casa de Hoff. Combine working late with trying to hit the gym after work, helping DAPGF with computer issues, and just doing the odd spring cleaning crap that needs to be done, and I’ve barely been on the computer at all. So I apologize for the scattered and cluttered nature of this post. Lots to say, so here we go.

This past weekend notwithstanding, I’ve been pretty good about what I’ve been putting down my neck. My weekend was a food world tour of evil. Italian (4 cheese angel hair pasta!), Mexican (carne asada plate with a cheese enchilada), and Thai (Pad Thai with shrimp and Panang Curry with chicken), how’s that for a world tour? During the day is a whole other issue. Trying to find a food that can satisfy the munchie cravings, keep me feeling filled up, while not having too much in the way of fat, calories, and other evil stuff, has been difficult. Hard boiled ggs are great from the protein perspective, but they are high in fat and cholesterol. I know, if I avoid the yoke, I can avoid a lot of that. I just feel like I’m wasting it, though, and it is a pain in the butt to hard boil them, cool them down, open them up, then take the yoke out before eating them. Plus, I’ll probably need to have a couple of eggs to fill me up, if I remove the yoke. Still, as a mid morning snack or to supplement my oatmeal in the morning, they’re not a bad bet. I’m not a huge fan of nuts, except peanuts. I love peanuts, and they are another food that is high in protein, has the sodium fix that I’m looking for (too much, I know), and fills me up. Unfortunately, they are so high in fat that I’m afraid to eat too many. And it’s hard for me to just eat a “single serving” of approximately 15 individual nuts. That’s not even a handful! Jerky, be it beef, turkey, or whatever seems to be a pretty good compromise. A 1 oz serving (a couple of decent sized hunks) typically has only 80 calories, and just a single gram of fat. Because I have to work at chewing it for a while, it really helps satisfy the need to munch. Like everything, it does have its downsides, though. First, it is really high in sodium. I just make sure I chug another 24 oz of water when I’m gnawing on some, and I think I’ll be ok. The other problem with jerky is, compared to the others, it is pretty expensive. If I’m lucky, I can find a 4 oz bag (which if I’m lucky I can get 4 snacks out of, but usually somewhere between 2 and 3) for less than $6. So if I go thru a bag in a day and a half, that’s more than $20 per week. I can get a dozen eggs for around $3, and a jar of peanuts that will last about a week goes for around $4. Any thoughts on what you party people out there munch on to satisfy those evil mid-morning and mid-afternoon cravings?

So, weight. I failed to weigh myself on the morning of 3/1 (we had a minor ant invasion in the shower…I guess they wanted to be clean, or they wanted to see me nekkid, with my junk hanging out), but on 3/2 I weighed 284.6 lbs. Despite everything that I ate, on 3/3 and 3/4, I weighed 282.6 lbs and 293.2 lbs. I was running late this morning, and didn’t take the time to jump on the scale (actually, I don’t want to jump on it…it would probably break!), but here’s what I’m wondering. I did go to the gym on Saturday and Sunday, but the thing that I think will have the greater impact is the fact that I didn’t weigh myself until almost 10:30 a.m. on both mornings (after showering after coming home from the gym). My fear is that because I weighed myself several hours later than normal (normal time is approx. 7:45 a.m.), any actual weight loss was over-exaggerated. I guess Tuesday morning will clarify things.

Last Tuesday, I had to go out to the Imperial Valley (desert area east of San Diego and directly north of Mexico, where the sand dune scenes on Tatooine in Empire Strikes Back were filmed) with 3 of my coworkers to work on several projects we have going out there. Now, my company may have an internet nazi thing going on, but they still take really good care of the employees. At my old job, I had to drive my own vehicle from the office to job sites. I received an auto allowance that actually did cover my car payment, but I was still putting almost 36,000 miles per year on my truck. At my new company, I can choose to drive my own car and file an expense report for mileage reimbursement. But if I so choose, the company will rent me a car. So because there were four of us going, and we had all of our laptops, plan rolls, boxes of PR trinkets, etc., we wound up with a 2007 Ford Edge crossover SUV. I drive a 2006 Jeep Grand Cherokee, and I’m perfectly happy with it. I must say, though, I was extremely impressed with the Edge. It’s not too big, but still has a 265 horsepower V6, and even with all of us on board we could still spin the tires on pavement. It handled the rain and wind very steadily, with no real problem from cross-gusts (and Weather.com had the winds at a steady 30 mph with gusts up to 60 mph) or loss of traction. More importantly, the thing was super comfortable. The seats were very supportive, and the rear seat actually reclined to about a 45 degree angle. And I’m 6’3” and I even had room to cross my legs while in the back seat! There were lots of little places to store things, and the stereo was great, with Sirius satellite radio, MP3 capable 6 disc CD changer, and the all-important iPod jack. The only issue I noted was that when you folded down the rear armrest and opened up the integrated cupholders, it didn’t leave a comfortable surface to use as an actual armrest. Beyond that, the thing had great power and still managed to average almost 19 mpg, with a full load of people and crap over mixed driving ranging from 90 mph to bouncing along over farm roads and desert trails. If you don’t need a 7 passenger vehicle, it’s a great choice, starting in the high $20s and going up to the mid $30s for the loaded model. And if a Ford isn’t luxurious enough for you, Lincoln sells a version called the MKX. Same basic body, same engine and transmission, uber-pimped interior. Definitely worth a look.

Saw the movie, Black Snake Moan, over the weekend. Of course the stupid radio movie reviewer guy starts off his review with, “the only things that Black Snake Moan has in common with Snakes on a Plane is the word “snake” in the title and Samuel L. Jackson.” Har har har. That being said, it was actually a really good movie. SLJ shows once again what incredible range he has, starting off being publicly dumped by his wife, for his brother in a diner. From there he ranges from tender and scared to forceful and full of tough love for Christina Ricci’s character. Going from being forceful with her to prevent her from hurting herself more, to being embarrassed at having to ask a lady who likes him about getting women’s clothes and medical supplies, to being a wailing bluesman who tears it up in a deep south juke joint, such incredible range. And Christina, yes it was strangely sexy, watching her chained up in SLJs house, wearing just a t-shirt and some panties, but she really put on a performance of her own. Her character ranges from a loving girlfriend, to a sex-addict who is more than willing to take the abuse to satisfy her craving, to a beaten victim who is trying to still show that she’s tough while trying to accept the care that SLJ is giving to her. And even Justin Timberlake’s performance was decent. I’ll admit, as a non-fan of boy bands, it was fun watching Justin Timberlake play a wuss. Probably the most ironic part of the movie, there are many people who sing (and Samuel L. Jackson can freaking wail!), but Timberlake isn’t one of them. All in all, very edgy and rough, and definitely worth a watch.